Is this normal or is it all in my head

[useless]

Were do I start I really don't know what to think anymore iv being with my husband 17 years now I suffer from depression here is a list of things which I need advice about

is it right to be shouted at all the time told that I'm useless to be told that I am very lucky to have him in my life blame me for everything that has gone wrong never allowed to be out of is sight I'm never allowed to show any emontion because he gets angery if I try and stand up to him he puts me down even further I feel like I'm a machine not a person I have nobody to turn to and I feel like the only way out is dealth I no longer have the stength to fight it all is all this normal Or is all just in my head thankyou

[danni]

useless...

Are those things right???? Well, if these things were happening to a good friend, would you consider them right?

No....they are not....this is abuse and you do not deserve to be treated this way. None of this is in your head. I think it is normal to be depressed having to deal with this and get through each day.

You need to get out of this situation. It is toxic and dangerous.

What do you think?

[useless]

I really don't know anymore I blame myself because of the way I am maybe he treats me this way because he has mybest intrests at heart if I never had depression maybe he would be diffrent towards me but is verbal aggresion frightens the life out of me he won't let me leave him he has threated me in the past that he would hurt me and my family if I try to leave he would hunt me down I'm is and that it so the only control I have over my life is my own dealth and no I can't just leave it's easyier said then done I'm traped with depression and a loving husband

[danni]

useless,

there isn't anything you have described that makes what he is doing OK. Abuse is never "for your own good". You haven't done anything to deserve this. I know leaving is easier said than done. Most things are. Is it possible to get police assistance if a threat is imminent?? I worry for your safety

Unfortunately, I don't know much about the system in the UK for protection. Hopfully some of our members from there will come along and offer some insight for you.

[useless]

You know the worse thing about all this I can't get out of it unless I die he dosnt even have to say anything to me it's that look he gives me and I'm either going to get told off or that look of disapointment I really sorry I feel so much shame it's my fault i feel like I'm betraying him just talking about it I feel I'm in the wrong sorry

[danni]

that's the reason that you do need to get out of it!! Are you seeing a therapist? Do you have anyone with whom you can work this through???? I'm worried about you!!!

[malign]

The only problem is, deleting what you said doesn't change any facts, 'less.

But you already know that.

I stayed with my wife for about seven years. I absorbed a wide variety of abuse, ranging from the trivial to the vicious, though it was all verbal. {It's interesting that I feel the need to minimize it that way, but I do.}

It got to the point where I spent all my free time and much of my work time fantasizing my own death. I just didn't see any other way out.

Luckily, I was wrong.

You believe his threats because that's what he wants you to believe.

The reality is that he's a small man and there are whole organizations devoted to rescuing people just like you. But you're the one who has to want it.