angelsoverme Posted September 3, 2008 Report Share Posted September 3, 2008 I am 34-years-old and I have been cutting and burning for over 10 years. I can still remember my first time cutting. I will never forget the emotions that lead to me doing so. And after that moment it became a part of me.I am a college graduate and I am currently working on my masters. I say this because I thought at this point in my life that this would no longer be a part of me. I am not as bad as I used to be, but I still have incidents when I cut. I used to cut a lot often then now. It has always been a subject that I avoid with anyone because there is an automatic thought that you have to be "crazy" do such a thing to yourself. Some of my family found out by my ex-husband being nasty and "outing" me in a sense. The few close friends I have really don't know anything about this. I just don't feel comfortable talking about it to them. Judgement issues. I know how I have been treated when I have revealed my cutting to others in the past. I always thought that I was alone until I viewed a Lifetime movie some years ago. I was relieved to find that I was not the only person. I thought that I was crazy. Honestly, I thought that I must be the sickest person in the world to harm my own body. That is a scary thought to carry around everyday. Now I wear my scars and when people notice them, I automatically go into defense mode and give them some reasoning behind them. It is not that I mean to lie, but I know how thoughts will go through their minds about me. So it is my secret to many. The few that do know, they don't bring it up, unless they see something new and then sometimes they still don't. It's is amazing how when I was younger how I could hide my scars from the world. But it is never easy for me to talk about it. I know that is not the way to deal with stress, problems, and emotions. But it has always gave me a sense of peace. And people don't understand that.I am just glad that there is a place that I can come to where people understand and can relate.Thank you for just listening to my story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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