I want to kill myself

[labelle]

Hi,

Im writing this because I dont know what to do, I hate myself so much for wanting to comit suicide i tryed it once be4and it wasnt eas and now i live my mum and it willbe eaven harder.

I just feel like iv fucked the whole thing up, Iv been out of work for 10 months and have been working as an escort and I enjoy it but tomrrow I start a new job and im scerd they are all going to laugh at me, i mean why wouldnt They? why would they want to work with the fat girl?

its almost 4 am and I cant sleap and I just dont know what to do i hate myself my life

Sory

[labelle]

Oh and PS I gave up escorting because my boyfriend found out, tmorrow I start work in a shop, i just cant do it!!!!

[Calla]

Hi Labelle. I'm sorry we all missed this last night. How are you? Did you go to work, how was it?

[labelle]

Hey, sorry for not replying.

I went to work and it was good, realy scery im feeling so nervious about it evry single day, but its helping, its giving me a destraction. a sence of worth i knew i had somewhere. Im nervious when it comes to counting or spelling because im very dyslexix at that but il just have to find a way,

[Guest GingerSnap]

I think about everyone is very nervous about starting a job. Right now, a lot of people are or have been out of work for months with many having had the same job nearly forever and finding themselves taking jobs not even remotely related to anything they have done before and for lower wages. I think you can do this. I knew a guy that was dyslexic who was in the Army and learning to fly a helicopter with all the controls and stuff. He told me that he had the problem as a child but that he learned to compensate for it but that everything took a little longer to learn. Actually, if the Army knew he had that problem, they would have denied him the training. He was the nicest guy and had someone help him through even sending him for some testing that ultimately helped him complete the course which took him much longer but he is now flying a helicopter for the military reserve and doing a great job. Have faith. On the job if you are unsure, always ask as most people would rather you ask several times about the right way to do something rather than spending a lot of their time fixing what you messed up and always remember, deep breath.

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi Labelle,

You say that you "hate yourself for having suicidal thoughts." Wow, that is a lot of self hate. Why do you hate yourself so much?

Also, you say that you worked as an escort. What do you mean by "escort?"

Also, I agree that it is always scary to start a new job.

However, could you tell us more about yourself and please let us know how the new job is going for you?

Allan:)