I had sex on the weekend

[Fedup]

and she didn't mention my penis size at all. In fact she wants to see me again ASAP. She is hot as well. As soon as I realised sex was on the cards I was starting to panic a bit and downing the alcohol a bit faster but can still remember what happened. It means I still haven't had sex sober and it's still a bit of a problem but I am hoping if I have regular sex with this person it may be cured. She stayed in mine and seen my penis when she was sober so she definitely knows how big it is which is a relief. She only liked being fingered with one finger so maybe women don't like penis to be so big after all. Feeling best I ever have at the moment.

[Fedup]

Thx. Feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. She could sense my nervousness and shyness and actually asked if I was a virgin. She was also asking why I was so shy.

I'm still having a bit of doubt in back of my mind. Having stupid thoughts like what if she is just being nice and texting me because she can sense it may destroy my confidence for good not hearing from her. I know it's my own mind and I am hoping meeting with her a few more times may solve it. She is really hot and very outgoing which is good for me being on the quiet side.

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hello Fedup and Sky,

I fully agree with Sky. Nice job and great advice, Sky.

Fedup, congratulations and what about the idea of just letting things happen with this girl, like Sky said?

Allan:)

[Fedup]

I agree and I won't bring it up. I've read enough to know that insecurities only tend to drive women away rather than bring them closer to you. She was insecure about her boobs which seemed mental to me but I guess we are all our own worst critics.

[Anguished]

Hearing a testimonial like that gives a guy like me some hope. Congrats Fedup, that’s fantastic news. Skynight, you made some great points here:

Well congratulations. The media and society fucks with our minds. Every women must be a stick insect with 36DD's and every man must be built like a bodybuilder with an 8 or 9 inch cock.

In reality, none of those things matter to most people. Your penis is average so I'm not surprised she never said anything. Most women care more about how you treat them, if you wear clean clothes, good hygiene a nice face and if you can earn a decent living.

A big cock is nice to have, but it's mostly an ego thing for us men to brag about.

I think that sometimes we can be so consumed with our own insecurities that we become oblivious to the possibility that the woman sitting across the table may be dealing with her own self-worth/dating insecurities herself. I keep trying to remind myself that not every woman in the world is as cruel as those I’ve encountered in the past, and Fedup your story serves that end. Great news!

[Recluse]

hey fedup, I have never had sex without paying for it. I was wondering what your size is as my girth is what gives me no hope. Just curious if you are in a similar situation to myself or are better off. Congratulations on meeting a girl and getting laid for free though.

[Fedup]

I am 5 in 2 long and 5 in girth. Im not sure what your girth is but I just took the measurement of my 2 fingers and that was 4.3inches and she found that too big and painful.

I'm not even sure if she orgasmed from my penis as I was a little drunk but we had a morning session where I was sober but couldn't use my penis as couldn't get it fully hard any longer. She deffo orgasmed from my finger though and that girth must be like 2 inches. I found giving her loads of compliments kissing her all over her body and looking into her eyes helped. Also licking her out. She said I has her shaking without any use of penis!

[Recluse]

Glad to hear that you have found a girlfriend. my girth is only 4 inches which is below average enough to make a big difference. You are actually completely average in your measurements. I think that the media has too much of an influence as the average guy now feels small. I am actually below average so my situation is a bit different.

[Fedup]

It's not just media it's growing up and in locker rooms seeing people with a bigger penis on flaccid than yours is on erect. Obviously this is a very select sample size and generally only the larger penis guys get changed naked. I also remember one guy with a small penis in school used to still get changed naked and everyone used to laugh at him. I used to think well mines not much bigger than his and I went out of my way to avoid letting anyone see it. I still have big hang ups about mine and nervous about getting it out when sober. This will be my 1st relationship ever if it gets anywhere.

I do have great sympathy for you because I've had enough mental trauma myself over mine. Maybe mine was an actual mental thing than physical but the feelings were still the same. Wasn't there a guy on another thread on here who has a loving girlfriend with a 3.5in penis? Don't stories like that give you hope? It sure did for me.

[Recluse]

I am not denying the mental trauma you went through at all. I was just giving you the figures on how you were average as more of an attempt at a positive outlook. It seems you have gotten over a lot of the problems you had with it. Good luck with this relationship. As to having hope when I hear about people like the guy you mentioned with the 3.5, I have none. As my girth is only 4 around it is hard for me to imagine any woman accepting me. I have spent so many hours doing research about what women prefer and the consensus is that length is not as important if it is within the normal range but that girth is extremely important.

Anyway no point in hijacking your thread as I have been going in circles with this issue since I was 14 and now I am 27. Good luck to you and I hope this relationship is the first step in getting over some of the anguish this has caused you.

[Guest ASchwartz]

Recluse, Fedup and all,

There really is no such thing as "higjacking" a thread here. We all just join the discussion.

Allan:)

[Fedup]

I'm not over it yet but I am hoping I can get over it. I still won't be using any urinals next to other guys just yet. It is true that I am feeling a lot better within myself after the positive experience. If truth be known that was the only way I was ever going to get over it and will be only way for you too.

I know the vicious circle. You're insecure and paranoid over your size. Women don't like men who are not confident and hence you never get the chance to have the experience. I joined a dating site after being ignored by women after at least 150 views there was one who finally liked me. It's a really weird experience because she has the body and looks of someone who I would never have thought I'd have a chance with but she's purring over me, keeps telling me I am gorgeous.

There is still hope for you, I would never have thought this would happen to me but it is. I'm just hoping if the relationship doesn't work out that I lose all my confidence.

[nearlydead]

I'm just hoping if the relationship doesn't work out that I lose all my confidence.

Then maybe plan for failure. write out what you would, could, likely do to lesten the effects of a breakup on your self confidence. Then put the plan to the back of your mind and enjoy your time with this girl.

You've had your eyes opened about size, now keep them open about relationships.

Good luck to you, and congrateulations for having the balls to get out there and do ssomething.

[Fedup]

Good advice from both of you. I had to get the balls to get out and at least test my size because there was no point at all living my life as miserable as I was.

Yeah I doubt it'd be my size either because she has been texting me how she can't stop thinking about the night and telling me I best not stand her up on the weekend. It's not like my size is going to change. It sounds like I've set myself a high performance standard which I may need to keep up though. Probably got all my years of frustration out in that one night haha.

[Recluse]

It sounds like things are going well with this girl so far. All the best in this relationship. Even if this ended up not working out in the long run, you know you are capable of getting sex and that your size is probably not an issue for most women as you have average measurements.

Whats up ND? How have you been. I hope things are going well with your situation.

[BillyBoy]

You gotta remember guys, as much of a cold comfort it may be, guys with small penises have been getting laid and living productive lives since the dawn of human history.

Right now, my sis, who is as she put it "a nosejob away from looking like Scarlett Johannson" is pining away from a guy who she said had a "baby dick". I understand, that kinda language could make smaller guys like us feel bad, but to dwell on that misses the point.

This guy who she was less than kind about his penis is the same guy who she continually runs back too no matter how bad he treats her. Why you ask? Because of the way he makes HER feel. His penis size was irrelevant because he was able to capture her emotionally by being a confident guy, something he is not in reality.

In otherwords, the vagina is not very big to begin with, and over time conforms to meet the size of the partner. The real key to a womans heart is to engage her emotionally, which is the real reason why so many of us small guys fail in relationships. We end up being too concentrated on our own insecurities to take the time to seduce the woman we are courting!

Don't get me wrong, I know its easier said than done. I myself have only been able to get the balls to engage women in any sense after going through the traumatic, but ultimately cathartic experiencing of finding the dead body of my great-grandmother, but thats a different story for a different time. The point being that confidence more than anything is the number one thing that attracts and keeps a woman around.

[Fedup]

Good post Billy.

I recently purchased a book from Jack Canfield called "The Success Principals" and even after the first 16 pages I can tell it's going to be a good read and recommend any of you to buy it. It's all about why you are where you are in life and how you chose to be there. Very inspirational.

[flander]

hey fedup, I have never had sex without paying for it.

we all pay for it one way or the other.

It's not just media it's growing up and in locker rooms seeing people with a bigger penis on flaccid than yours is on erect. Obviously this is a very select sample size and generally only the larger penis guys get changed naked.

That depends. In my high school all the guys had to change in one room and the showers didn't have any dividers, so there wasn't a way to avoid the issue. (well, except for one guy who never showered, but he had lots of other issues...crapping his pants was one and I think most were glad he went straight home after football practice)

But that also brings up the question: how are guys being measured and who is measured to compile these statistics?

I'm supposedly average (except for girth), but like you, most guys that I've happened to see in gym showers, while zipping up at urinals w/o dividers, hell..even unfortunate timing of visiting relatives in the hospital while a nurse is there dealing with a catheter, most have flaccid penises that are almost as big or bigger than I am when erect. Is it normal to have a regular size condom only unroll a little more than 1/2 way when it is put on? Not that it stays on without sliding around and slipping off (that pesky girth thing again).

Sure, it's anecdotal evidence, but still makes you wonder about these studies.

[BillyBoy]

we all pay for it one way or the other.

That depends. In my high school all the guys had to change in one room and the showers didn't have any dividers, so there wasn't a way to avoid the issue. (well, except for one guy who never showered, but he had lots of other issues...crapping his pants was one and I think most were glad he went straight home after football practice)

But that also brings up the question: how are guys being measured and who is measured to compile these statistics?

I'm supposedly average (except for girth), but like you, most guys that I've happened to see in gym showers, while zipping up at urinals w/o dividers, hell..even unfortunate timing of visiting relatives in the hospital while a nurse is there dealing with a catheter, most have flaccid penises that are almost as big or bigger than I am when erect. Is it normal to have a regular size condom only unroll a little more than 1/2 way when it is put on? Not that it stays on without sliding around and slipping off (that pesky girth thing again).

Sure, it's anecdotal evidence, but still makes you wonder about these studies.

I suppose in that sense, I was lucky in that my high school didnt force people to take showers etc. Infact no one, even the well hung, used the showers provided. No man is perfect, even my friend who is a nazi-esque ubermensch has all his sh*t together. Everyone has issues, or I should say 99% of people, have their own problems. Its only a matter of whether they let their problems dictate their lifestyle that is the question. Its true that alot of women have the insecurities aswell, but its cold comfort because at this point in history its very much a seller's market if you get my drift. All you can do is excerise the control your sucess gives you, that is to say if a woman is unappreciative of your sexual prowess, kick her to the curb. She can find some guy with a big dick to give her the same level of comfort. Then she will either appreciate you for how you treated her or be vindicated in her view of the world, either way shes out of your hair.

[Fedup]

I suppose in that sense, I was lucky in that my high school didnt force people to take showers etc. Infact no one, even the well hung, used the showers provided. No man is perfect, even my friend who is a nazi-esque ubermensch has all his sh*t together. Everyone has issues, or I should say 99% of people, have their own problems. Its only a matter of whether they let their problems dictate their lifestyle that is the question. Its true that alot of women have the insecurities aswell, but its cold comfort because at this point in history its very much a seller's market if you get my drift. All you can do is excerise the control your sucess gives you, that is to say if a woman is unappreciative of your sexual prowess, kick her to the curb. She can find some guy with a big dick to give her the same level of comfort. Then she will either appreciate you for how you treated her or be vindicated in her view of the world, either way shes out of your hair.

This is a mindset I am trying to develop. It always seems that I am too worried about what they think of me. Instead I should realise that I am a good catch for them and if you can truly believe this you become a lot more confident straight away. It's going to take practice and I sometimes find myself slipping back into the chaser mode without even realising.

Women are a lot more attracted to confident guys than nice guys. If you can be both you are a woman's dream guy. Being nice comes easy to me. Confidence I'm working on but it will come to me. I'm making sure of it.

[IrmaJean]

I think it's great that you are challenging yourself to look at things in a different way. Good for you!

[Fedup]

I think it's great that you are challenging yourself to look at things in a different way. Good for you!

Thx. It's not easy. I have to be on aware of what I am saying all the time. I read a book and it's just little things such as always be assertive to any question no matter how small. It's my natural instinct to give an indecisive answer. If I happen to be day dreaming when asked an "I don't know" will pop out. Got to train myself for natural reaction to be assertive and positive.

When I do drift off into a day dream it's usually negative thoughts. It's only when I am consciously putting the effort to make it positive that it becomes so. I have no idea how long it will take. It will require a lot of focus but it needs to be done.