hangingaround Posted August 5, 2010 Report Share Posted August 5, 2010 (edited) Hi....Because I want to remain very anonymous due to my presence around the internet, I am hesitant to share details about my personal story which is also very present on the web. Thus I am sharing the following in hopes that I can get various 'objective' sponses to help my perspective.I recently had an incident occur. I had been a client with a therapist for over two years. The therapist is very good at their profession and expertise. I had graduated (for lack of a better word) from therapy almost a year ago, but still remained in close contact with the therapist. (I think, in reality, I hadn't really graduated.) [delayed edit note: I was a client for over a year, not two years.]We remained in contact for a few reasons. One: I am involved with some lay-activism in which the therapist specializes.Two: I continued with a small phone support group, as a member,of which the therapist oversaw. (My therapist was long distance and we had our appointments via phone and Skype.)Three: I had difficulty breaking the therapeutic bond. We discussed this openly. I hired the therapist for life coaching. In my head that meant I was still graduated; and the life coaching was different.Four: I still needed help from time to time when *stuff* would come up.A couple months back I volunteered to help with an online activism project which the therapist was building. I and another person, who was never a client of the therapist, were on the team. The therapist and I had become friends. We had discussed in depth regarding dual relationships. I was fine with being friends. To me, therapists are people first. So we were friends and were now working on a project together; yet, I was still weaning from the therapeutic relationship. The therapist was aware of this. I thought there would be no better place to work through some of my remaining issues than on the activism project.As part of our friendship, the therapist shared with me some deep issues the therapist is still challenged with in their life. During the project work, the therapist and the other team member had a disagreement that turned into an array of emails back and forth. The team member insinuated some serious things regarding the therapist and the therapist addressed some of those head on. Exchanges got quite heated at times.The therapist and I privately discussed these exchanges. That was fine with me. I agreed with much of what the therapist stated was happening with the other team member. I listened with compassion, as I had at other times with the therapist-turned-friend.At some point in the email exchanges between the disagreeing member and the therapist, the therapist started another email thread stating that the disagreeing member had a good idea. When I read it and another email exchange between the the therapist and the member, I thought the dynamics were changing and that the therapist was putting a certain vote back on the table for discussion. I was glad to read (what I thought) was some calming down to the entire situation.Apparently I read the therapist's emails wrong. The therapist came back with a very long email addressing both myself and the opposing member. I was taken aback by some of the statements in the email, insinuations I simply didn't know I had made. I certainly didn't mean to come across as the therapist had stated. In the long email, the therapist requested a response within 24 hours.I called the therapist-turned-friend before reading the email in-depth. I couldn't get them on the phone and I didn't leave a message at that time. I later responded to the email - once I had had time to read it. Part of my response was that I was confused and didn't understand. Part of my response I became angry regarding insinuations which I had no idea I had participated in, at least that I was aware of. I was quite baffled and stated so in my response.Once I replied to that email, I called the therapist and left a voice mail that I had read and responded to the email and that I hoped the therapist and I could talk via Skype or via phone soon.I also wrote a private email to the therapist (all the other emails were being shared between the three of us...though they became difficult for me to follow) to further clarify.Why am I posting all this here?I am simply looking for anyone's response to what they think when they read the following email exchanges. I am quite devastated by what has happened, and am having difficulty functioning. Constantly 2nd guessing myself. Feeling I am unintelligent, that I can't be trusted on any level. It may sound menial, but it isn't.The therapist knows in-depth the deep struggles I've had with self-blame, shame, and self distrust. I had come a long way in all those areas.I also realize that the entire context of the situation isn't in the picture in these few (long) posts. To post and read it all would be exhausting for anyone. So I'm just wondering what impressions are to the following email exchanges. (I will post the emails (leaving out names) in response posts.) Is it abuse?I have an appointment this Friday with a local psychologist that I trust. I am going to show him other emails and get his input and hopefully his help to help myself put me back together.I apologize for a first post being so long. I googled to find a place that appeared safe and that I could post regarding the question of therapist (or in this case former therapist) abuse.Thanks for any responses. And if there are no forthcoming responses, I understand that as well.Hanging in there while hanging around....:confused: Edited August 8, 2010 by hangingaround IrmaJean 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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