Eating disorder?

[ForeverAngel2009]

What would you do if you found out you had a friend who had an eating disorder?

Edited September 8, 2008 by ForeverAngel2009
Problems

[Mark]

Angel,

You've asked a sort of two part question so I'll provide a two part answer.

Your first question has to do with whether you have an eating disorder. It does seem from what you describe that you have a disordered eating pattern, meaning that you are not experiencing hunger at times when most people would. This is not necessarily the same thing as an eating disorder, however.

You are perhaps in the neighborhood of binge eating disorder, which is not yet recognized in the DSM as an eating disorder, but which is a real problem). When people binge, they lose control and eat a lot of high calorie foods all at once. They do not throw up or purge. Often they feel terrible about their binge after it occurs. This is similar to Bulimia, but in bulimia, people vomit or purge in other ways.

That you feel nauseous at the thought of food seems concerning to me. I think you ought to talk to a doctor about that, along with your "eating a lot of random foods" thereafter.

Though you long for an eating disorder, really these are not good things to have. Eating disorders are a trap, and the people who experience them suffer, sometimes die. They put on a good show, and they are certainly appealing to someone whose confidence is not great (like yourself) and who is not worldly enough yet to see through the bullshit fantasy of ultimate control that they surround themselves with. However, the reality of someone trapped in an eating disorder is someone who feels out of control (and thus has to assert control in such a drastic manner), who feels very imperfect, and who is actively engaged in damaging themselves, sometimes to the point of death, other times to the point of having their teeth rot out of their mouths from stomach acid contact, etc. And as far as making one's self more sexually appealing through food restriction, well, there are many men who like thin women (and a number who like their women more on the plump side), but no man I've ever spoken to finds a skeletal anorexic woman appealing. This is assuming you are hetero, and female. I assume that the same is true for lesbians, but am not sure.

Maybe the problem you have is more about the depression feelings you have, and the lack of confidence, and the desire for attention , which really says that you are feeling lonely and without someone to confide in. Have you thought about seeking help for that problem? You might enjoy and benefit from meeting with a psychotherapist or counselor to talk about these feelings and desires and concerns you have. In part because when you don't have someone to confide in, you can confide in a counselor, and that feels good even though it is not a replacement for a friendship. More importantly, because in talking though what your concerns are you gain a better appreciation of what steps you need to take to correct the problems you are facing. Such as feeling lonely and how to best correct that.

I hope you find this helpful. I remember being in high school myself (I assume you are in high school because that is where the majority of cheerleading gets done), and it was a painful time of life for me as well. But you get through it.

Mark

[mscat]

I just tell you that it is very important for the"friend" to get help As soon as possible. The ED. will get worse and eventually take full control of you life. As Mark mentioned, there are enormous health risks involved with A ED.

The probelm is the with the ED. need to decide to quit the ED> it is A love affair with food, weight, calories, ECT> Nobody can make a person with ED. stop . That person needs to do it for themselves. until then they are going to be stuck in this cycle.

trust me, A 20 year old woman who is 5'4 and weighs 72lbs is disgusting. Thereis nothing pretty about that. Even at 87 LBS, I was still grossly thin. You or whoever, do not want to be like that, ever.

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi mscat,

Of course, you are correct about people with ED not getting help until they want to. And, part of wanting to get that help is realizing that there is a problem. I worked with so many young women who would deny that anything was wrong with them, with their clothes hanging off of their skinny bodies and looking emaciated. In fact, how does one get another person to "see" that they are anorectic?

Allan

[lizp33558]

the best thing you can dofor your friend is too lovingly confront her, and take it from there, i too have an eating disorder, for me it is about control...hope thishelps..liz