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What I owe my Mother


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A friend emailed this to me, and well it made me smile once or twice so I thought I'd share with you guys........

What I owe my Mother


"If your going to kill each other, do it outside, I've just finished cleaning"

My mother taught me RELIGION

"you'd better pray that comes out of the carpet"

My mother taught me LOGIC

"Coz I said so, thats why"

My mother taught me MORE LOGIC

"If you fall out that tree, and break your neck, your not going to the store with me"

My mother taught me FORSIGHT

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, incase you have an accident"

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM

"Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck"

My Mother taught me STAMINA

"You will sit there till all your food is eaten"

My mother taught me about WEATHER

"This room of yours looks like a tornado went through it"

My mother taught me HYPROCRISY

"If Ive told you once Ive told you a million times, dont exagerate"

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION

"Stop acting like your father"

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION

"Just wait till we get home"

My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE

"If you dont stop crossing your eyes, they are going to stay like that"

My mother taught me ESP

"Get a sweater on,dont you think I know when your cold ?"

My mother taught me HUMOUR

"When the Lawn mower cuts off your toes, dont come running to me !!!"

My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT

"If you dont eat your greens, you will never grow up"

My mother taught me WISDOM

"When you get to my age, you will understand"

My mother taught me about JUSTICE

"One day you will have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you !!!"

Thanks mum :rolleyes::D

Edited by SweetSue
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