Guy Out There Posted September 5, 2010 Report Share Posted September 5, 2010 There has come a point in my life right now, where i simply wish to die.I see no further point in my life and when i look at the pain i am suffering i realize i can no longer cope with it, knowing it will last a lifetime and that i could die anyway at any point just because i am no longer needed, no longer wanted.I suffocate myself, not on purpose but it feels like something is pressing my head into the pillow, something causes my hands to move helplessly pinned down, no doubt the weight of my mistakes.At the last moment before i might either pass out or pass over i am released, gasping for breath yet emotionless, some kind of game, sometimes i get a seizure right after, i pass out, unable to cope with the pain. I am played with like a rag doll.What is the meaning of life?That is not the question for me since i can see no meaning in my life. Unable to express my emotions, unable to feel anything towards my own life the threat of death is meaningless to me, my second chance at life has had no effect, it seems to carry no weight for me.I am one hollow man, and to end it all, i would but not till i have made peace, i care about others but nobody cares about me, not even myself. One of these times i'm not going to revive myself from suffocation, they will not win, i will win.A great man once told me, "It is not death itself that we should fear, it is when death will come"See the thing that you don't realize about death is people know when it is coming to them, they have a feeling inside, right now i have that feeling.Soon i will make peace with my family, i will write my letters of goodbye and when i am ready, death will come and escort me up the velvet staircase.Did i want to die? "No, i didn't want to die, i just wanted another option, i wanted a way to make my life better, to avoid hospital, to have friends who care and a family who understand, i just wanted to be happy. Now i can be happy." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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