Soo emotionaly drained and tired ;(

[Meshael]

This feeling has got to a point where I don't even want to wake up anymore

I swear everyday i wake up I go "oh crap im still alive" I just feel like I suck so bad..and that im failure when materialized..Im just a big ball of failure </3

I don't know what to do..therapy is not an option..its so hard to find one let a lone a good one @ the town I live in

ughh..I just wish i could die..cuz im not insane enough to kill myself but I certainly want it to come naturaly

as I mentioned in previouse posts, I cant reach out to my family, because then they'll just treat me like a sick person..Im so stuck. and im also all alone in being strong..I honeslty do everything on my own..im the only one to lift myself up and its so sad that I got to that point..I do realize its a great thing that im very strong..but its also very sad..and as much as Im proud of this..i also pitty myself ughhh

[malign]

Meshael,

One of the things depression will do to a person is help them line up a long list of all the things they can't do. That's normal; that's how depression makes us feel.

But that doesn't mean that depression knows what it's talking about. If you're the only one around you who is being strong, do the others see themselves as sick?

I don't know your circumstances well enough to know the difficulties you face. But I can hear that you feel alone and sad. You need help, and you deserve help, the same as anyone else. But you will need to seek it out, even over the objections of your depression.

In addition, though, there are things you might be able to start with. Things like getting some exercise, eating right, taking care of yourself, and trying to get a good night's sleep. I know that the depression will try to talk you out of those simple things, too, but they do help, if you can keep them up for a week or two.

I'm sorry that you feel so bad right now.