Agh! ???

[Misty]

I was admitted that same day and have only today been discharged!

Finally have a diagnosis, bipolar and am on Seroquel, Qetiapine!

Feel so much better. Stable and normal!!

Hospital was interesting, but a great help.

I now have a flat of my own to move into as I'm only allowed supervised access to the children. I'm getting a divorce!

But this is a positive step towards a happy and stable future!

I won't have internet to start so this is just a brief update!

Thank you all you lovely people that were concerned for me!

:p:o XXXXXXXX

[Luna-]

I'm so glad you got help, Misty. Here's to stable days!

[Misty]

Hi guys.

Done some more reading up, and seems that so much of my past is defined by bipolar. In fact most of it! It's quite disconcerting.

I had quite a strong sense of self from a young age, but the things I thought were me...were the bipolar.

So pressing question is who am I?

Has anyone else met with this dilemma?

How do you find the real you?

Since I was 19 I have been a full time Mum, now at 27 I'm a part-time mum living alone.

I have a new Dr who has been absolutely wonderful. She was disgusted that I had been discharged from hospital with no support. So wasn't surprised that I had been rushed to hospital last Friday for slashing my wrist!

But she is thinking of upping the quetiapine, finding me an art group and is being really helpful, she actually gives a damn! Which is more than can be said for the so called crisis team. (Upon calling them for the fouth time it was suggested to me that I take a nap!! Seriously! As if that would make everything right!)

I'm interested to meet the real me, I don't know when she will appear, but hopefully not too long!

Any thoughts or comments appreciated!

[tash28]

Hi misty

I was very much the same coud not work out who I was and if I had bi polar and if I did how much of my behaviour was bi polar.

At my worst I cut all my legs, took 3 overdoses in less then 24 hours and in trouble with the police and ended up locked up for 13 hours and smashed my car up and 4 other cars.

I went to hospital and they wanted me to stay but I was scared and all I wanted to do was die so I convinced everyone that I was fine. They could see I was not as I was crying, shaking and pacing but still they let me go as long as I promised not to try and kill myself. Soon as I got home I did it again. But still there was no help given.

I ended up back in A+E a few days later after taking another over dose and cutting my legs and belly. After speaking to them and convincing them again I was going to be ok they let me go but asked if the mental health home treatment team could come out and see me.

The mental health home treatment team came out and on that day I was having a manic day cleaned the whole house had my music up very loud etc.

He rand the door bell but as my music was loud I never heard him so he came back 10 mins later. As I was expecting him I had my music turned off ao I could hear the door bell the second time. He came in and said he tried 10 mins ago but I had my music on and that he could see me through the window dancing along so he throught he would try again in a bit. He asked me a few questions then left and said he didnt really need to see me again but said I could ring them if I needed to.

I had no other support and realy did feel alone.

The only support I had was from my employers as they were trained in mental health. They helped me through a lot my court case, cutting myself ect. They were my support without them I really dont know where I would be today.

They have now sold the company and I have new employers so I have lost my support so I am now trying to find other ways of help like here, reading up on bi polar, keeping busy. But I can feel myself going back to how I was and I am tryiing very hard to keep myself busy and have an understanding of why I feel the way I do. (Hypermania and manic)

My advise would be to go to groups like MIND in the uk not sure where you are look it up on the internet see what groups are around in your area, Go see your GP, talk about how you feel on here with different people and keep reading about it.

All the best and take good care of yourself

[Misty]

So sorry to hear all that you went through. It does seem that the help is only there when you at the absolute worst point.

I have tried looking for support groups, just haven't mustered up the courage to check em out properly! It's daunting!

Thanks for your advice. I hope you are ok at the moment!