Psychotherapy as a Cause Rather Than a Solution

[Pakhawaj]

I had a session today with my therapist and my mam and they seemed to have come to the conclusion that initially, I was just a whiny teenager and therapists escalated this until I became who I am now.

Is this possible? It seems like awful scapegoating. How could people trying to help make me worse? I must have had a problem to begin with.

[Chisholm]

If I were to be a complete cynic I would suggest that the answer lies in psychoanalysis. Too much navel-gazing tends to pathologize. But let me not project my issues.

What type of therapy were you in and what have you been diagnosed with at the moment? Probably come in a bit late here so don't know all the issues....

[Pakhawaj]

A bit late? I haven't divulged any specific issues here. I also haven't been diagnosed with anything, there doesn't seem to be a name for whatever I have.

I was in a multitude of therapies originally, mostly cognitive though I underwent many tests for various problems ranging from autism to schizophrenia. I was at one point diagnosed with depression, though I never had any of the classic symptoms.

I can't name any therapies unfortunately (other than cognitive) because I tend to forget the names of these things, though I can remember what sort of things I did; I've played with blocks, drawn abstractions, searched through my history for significant events, described my relations with others, acted parts in morality plays amongst the obvious "how does this make you feel?" or "what do you think about that?". Sorry if this is unhelpful.

It seems odd that it's been suggested that people who have tried to help would be the cause, I can't help but think that it's a lazy explanation- "everything ill has been caused by these people". I would much rather think I was to blame than my past therapists.

[IrmaJean]

I would much rather think I was to blame than my past therapists.

Aside from assessing blame for the challenges you've been facing, you might want to consider the reasons why you seem to often want to punish yourself. Practice being gentle with yourself. You deserve kindness and respect.

Undoubtedly therapy doesn't work well for everyone. Do you feel it has been helpful in any way? How is your relationship with the therapist you are currently seeing? Do you feel you are making any positive progress?

Have you considered writing down a list of your concerns and numbering them according to which causes you the greatest distress? It might be helpful to have an idea of where you need to start. Take care.

[ChasingDreams]

That's funny that you should bring this topic up today, because I was considering posting about something similar after I went back to my therapist on Tuesday... I've only been to her (or anyone for that matter:P) twice before, and already was getting the feeling that she wasn't going to be able to help me, but I was feeling desperate the other day, so I went back to her... And all she did was a very good job of making ME feel paranoid about my boyfriend's paranoia... I really think that therapists need to be careful with how they handle their clients, because they are dealing with some really emotional things and YES, I think sometimes they can make things worse:( I did sort of bring it on myself, by going in there to discuss with her how my boyfriend has been acting and trying to figure out what is going on with him... but instead of considering any less dramatic (and less permanent) explanations (like he is really depressed and we are going through possibly the most stress of our lives right now) she jumped straight to "I think he is schizophrenic" and talking about "imagine how scary it must be to be losing your mind"... I went home after that and CRIED FOR HOURS... And then (please, I hope no schizophrenic people feel insulted by this, its just my own fears...) for the next day and a half I was so afraid of my boyfriend and imagining all these horrible things he could do to me:( And still having periods of sobbing uncontrollably... He must have thought I was going crazy... and I couldn't even tell him what was wrong:( After thinking about it more, and doing some research online, I REALLY DON'T think he is schizophrenic... He may have a bit of paranoia along with his depression, but the things he is worried about are not off-the-wall... Don't we all have irrational fears now and then? (like the ones the therapist had me thinking?) Also, (and this is a big part of the picture, which she failed to even consider) he is from a culture that has paranoia and mistrust fed to them every day by the media... He was raised to think that all outsiders are untrustworthy, and where is he, but in the middle of a bunch of outsiders... He must be scared... Also, he told me about a conflict going on between his country and a neighboring country and when I looked up some news about it, people in his culture definitely have strong feelings of fear and paranoia about it. So, this gives me some insight into why he is (especially lately) acting a bit paranoid.. he sort of has a reason to... So, I guess I'm a bit disappointed that she (and most of the information I found online) automatically assume paranoia to be leading to schizophrenia... I guess its a product of OUR culture, lack of understanding of other cultures, and the fact that we are maybe a bit TOO trusting sometimes? I feel like I was too trusting with her... Instead of helping me figure out how to help my boyfriend with his depression, she did what was probably the worst thing and made me withdraw from him, when he needed me the most. And the way she handled it was horrible too... she gave me that horrifying news of my boyfriend losing his mind, basically said there was no hope for me to help him, and then totally coldly said "ok, i'll see you next week" and opened the door and waited for me to leave.... YES, SOMETIMES THERAPY CAN MAKE THINGS WORSE... I don't think I've ever felt so hopeless/helpless... And I still cry when I think about it...

[Pakhawaj]

Undoubtedly therapy doesn't work well for everyone. Do you feel it has been helpful in any way? How is your relationship with the therapist you are currently seeing? Do you feel you are making any positive progress?

I don't really think it's been helpful, but I don't really know what help I need so perhaps it has. My relationship is decent. I don't feel like I'm making any positive progress, but I don't know if I'd know if I was progressing, negatively or positively.

Have you considered writing down a list of your concerns and numbering them according to which causes you the greatest distress? It might be helpful to have an idea of where you need to start. Take care.

I haven't, do you think this is a good idea? If I were to write them down, would I start with the most distressing or the least?

That's funny that you should bring this topic up today...

Thank you for the story, it's definitely good to have someone else's perspective on these sorts of things, I hope you can be strong enough for your boyfriend as well as yourself. I imagine you are more important to him than some strange therapist.

If he is schizophrenic (though it doesn't sound like he is, I don't think therapists [or anyone] should judge someone so critically based on a second-hand account), don't ostracise him or make him feel different from how he was/is- most schizophrenic people have it hard enough battling with themselves.

Maybe he is afraid of doing something and is falling back on the comfortable paranoia of his culture? I don't know. It's good to relieve your stress though, even if that is all it solves.

I'm very sorry if you take offence to anything I've said or for cutting your quotation short.

I feel pretty angry at myself for feeling anger towards these past therapists of mine because I don't know if it is justified, did I have half of my teenage years taken away from me just for some fucking experiments? I don't know, I must be at the root of it all otherwise they wouldn't be involved. I skived off school for six months which must mean something. I can't think that someone would take advantage over you when you're weak and helpless.

I'm sorry for being so stupid.

[ChasingDreams]

Sorry for having posted such a long-winded response to your thread yesterday>< I'm a bit less upset today, so maybe I can be a bit calmer and more helpful:P

As far as your saying "I can't think that someone would take advantage over you when you're weak and helpless." I have to say that I don't think they would do it ON PURPOSE... but at the same time, if they aren't careful and make judgements without all the facts they could make things worse.

I'm not saying this is the case in your situation, its POSSIBLE that you really did have something more going on than being "just a whiny teenager". But from what I've seen, if you went to the therapist trying to figure out what was going on with you, and they asked you a bunch of questions relating to different disorders (like she did about my boyfriend) and you started searching around in yourself, trying to find examples to fit what she was asking, you could find yourself starting to think that is what's wrong with you... even if its not... The mind is a very powerful thing... I know that once you THINK something is wrong with you, your body can even start having physical symptoms that match what you think is wrong... Example: A few times in the last year I have been worried about getting pregnant again (my daughter just turned 1), and following that I would get all the pregnancy symptoms for a few weeks (including my period stopping) until I tested a few times and convinced myself I wasn't actually pregnant... And then it all went back to normal. So, I think it would be POSSIBLE for you to worry about what the therapist CONSIDERED might be wrong with you and start to take it on as something that really is wrong with you, even if it wasn't.

I hope that it wasn't the case that you had "half of [your] teenage years taken away from [you] just for some fucking experiments", but at the same time I hope you won't continue to blame yourself for everything either. I'm not sure what was going on with you at the time that you started seeing the therapist, but try to think back on what kind of symptoms you were having and how you were feeling before you went.

I honestly think that if I had gone to this therapist telling her that "I" was feeling paranoid and she had started discussing schizophrenia as a possibility for ME, I most definitely would have started obsessing and worrying about it, and questioning myself and whether I WAS losing my mind... That could drive a person crazy;) lol

So, I'm not saying that your therapist was purposely trying to hurt you, or directly trying to "put thoughts into your head", but they could possibly have overreacted, and made you overreact to yourself, and made things worse:(

I really hope things work out good for you:)

BTW, your not being stupid at all:)

[Pakhawaj]

Aye, you're right. I'm so sorry for you having to read my posts, I was overreacting, I hope I wasn't experimented on, I don't think I was. I don't really know what to think.

Sorry.