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Endlessnight
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I wasn't sure where to post this so i'm putting it here.

I am so worried about my eldest nephew. He has such a bad temper and I see him becoming more and more like his father daily. He finished high school a couple of months back and isn't going to do any further studies, he says he wants to work. For now I pay him to take me to and from work, and not a day goes by without him getting upset at something or other. If another car should cut in front of us he gets out of control mad. It's so scary because I see him being the way his father is and it's breaking my heart. I've tried talking to him but he doesn't want to hear it. I don't know what to do, or even if there is anything I can do.

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He probably is copying his fathers behavior, probably has been trying to since he was born. I think he will get past that eventually. He will learn other behaviours from other people.

DOn't let his anger affect you, cuz he will feed off that, I would have.

You cant directly stop him from copying his father, but you can show him an alternative way to behave, indirectly, just by example.

Edited by nathan
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Guest ASchwartz

Hi Endless,

You are limited in what you can do because he is your nephew and because of his age. I would advise you that, even in your mind, you should stop comparing him to his father. Like nathan said, he's a teenager and teenagers are not quite human, as yet :D .

Teens often go through depression. That is a possibility. Have you spoken to his mother? Perhaps psychotherapy? Also, do you know why he stopped further education?

Allan

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Hi Allan, as i've mentioned (many times :D) before...there is no therapy available here.

He didn't do well in school and so his parents think that it would be a waste of money to send him to college as he probably wouldn't do well there either. Being a non-saudi in this country means you have to pay for your education here or abroad and both his mother and his father say they can't afford it. I've spoken to his mother about his anger problems but she doesn't seem to get it, maybe because she is used to her husband being that way? I don't know.

It frustrates me a lot but I do know there isn't much I can do. I am comparing him to his father because it is the thing I fear the most I guess. I see him going down the same road. I hope I am wrong though.

Thank you both for your suggestions.

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Guest SomethingOrOther

I think it might be difficult to lead by example as a woman, since he's copying a male role model. Is there some other male role models you could show him, perhaps? Not sure that would work, though.

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Hi Endless,

If i may add, i think some of your nephew's behaviour can come down to being a teenager, i was similarly 'moody' when i was a teenager, don't assume the worst. He may be influenced by his father's behaviour, unfortunatly there is nothing much you can do about that but perhaps as SomethingOrOther has said, could you show him another male role model? Maybe having another male to relate to would cause him to see how his fathers behaviour was different from what is acceptable?

If the only male influece he's had in his life is his father then he won't know any different..

Take Care..

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Unfortunately, there is no one else that could be a role model for him. My nephew only has his father as a role model, and he is mirroring his father's behaviour almost exactly. Something or Other is right, I cannot lead by example. The only way he knows to be is as his father was to him, which is why I am worried. But there isn't really much I can do, I know this, but it still makes me sad.

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi Endless,

Yes, you did mention that there is no therapy where you are :o:)

Its not that I forgot, its just that I'm dumb :rolleyes::D

I agree with what others have said, that he is probably just being a typical teenager: crazy.

It occurs to me that there are psychiatrists and psychologists and licensed clinical social workers who will work with people online. Might that be an option for you?

Allan

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Hi Allan. I came back to add something to my post about my nephew. When he takes me to work, he sniffs a lot, without him having a cold. I think I read somewhere that this is one sign of drug use. Could that be true? I hope not though. :rolleyes:

About online psychiatry etc. I have thought about it. I know so little about these things though. Is there someone you can recommend to me, and could you give me a rough idea of what it might cost? I do have a bank account, but I dont have a Visa card. Would it be possible to pay through my bank? Does anyone have any idea? I am really lost when it comes to such things, as i've never bought or paid for anything online.

Edited by Endlessnight
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Sniffing alot can mean lots of things not just drug use, does his father use drugs (that you know), teens are more likley to take drugs if the people in their family do this as well, still don't worry too much, there are many more likley reasons than drugs..

You can pay online through your bank (bankers draft, bank transfer, some places take payment services like egold etc). Check the payment options of the online psychiatrist first and if you are unsure just contact them (they will be more than happy to work out a way for you to get money to them :P )

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