Lie_low Posted September 28, 2008 Report Share Posted September 28, 2008 How do you deal with scars? Has it affected your relationships or your ability to seek medical help for unrelated issues? My experience: regret is what I feel now. When I first started self-injuring I never thought of what the consequences might be--I just wanted to feel better. I thought it was a one time thing; I never planned to do it again. I didn’t realize that eventually people would find out. I didn’t realize hat I might not be able to do certain jobs, or that some people might view me as unstable or be fearful that I might hurt myself again. How have you been able to move on?thanks to all,meredith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mscat Posted September 29, 2008 Report Share Posted September 29, 2008 Hi , I am not sure what kind of jobs your not able to have because of your scars? Or the kind of scars that you have, or where. If it is cutting scars then Yes, some people might see those and this they are self inflicted, however if it is already scared than it is a done deal. IF the SI is still in the process of healing then they are more newer injuries. to me, scars is the end result, the after fact any injury. It does not mean the person is crazy or unstable . the person might have dealt with the issue and learned coping skills. AS for my scars, they are severe. Severe enough that they do not like SI. Nobody thinks that iot what it was from . Frankly, i do not care what other people think about my scars. I have tattoos as well, now I would be more concerned about getting a job with Tats then my scars. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lie_low Posted September 29, 2008 Author Report Share Posted September 29, 2008 mscat,The scars are from cutting and they look self-inflicted. The ones that have been an issue are the ones on my arms and wrists. I don’t self-injure there anymore because I know that it is the area that people are most likely to see. With regard to the job issue, I suppose that I did not phrase this correctly. I did not mean that I believe that I would not be able to get a particular job, or pursue a particular occupation because of the scars. Rather, I do believe that my self-injury and related issues have influenced what jobs I believe that I would want to do, or be good at. I don’t want it to be an issue at my job. My current job involves physical labor, lifting, reaching, and rolling your sleeves up. When people see the scars they sometimes treat me differently. When there is nothing wrong, they will ask me if I am ok. One of my managers asked me if I was being abused, (which was not true) and it made me uncomfortable. The way they treat me suggests to me that they see me as fragile or they think there is something wrong. I don’t think that they would want to promote someone that they view in this way. I am going to school so that I can get a better job that doesn’t involve showing my arms. I have tried not caring what other people think, but I can’t stop myself. When I see a person with scars I feel bad for them and I wonder what happened. While I know there reaction may be different than mine, I don’t like it when people see my scars because I don’t want people to feel bad, like I do when I see the scars of another person. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mscat Posted October 1, 2008 Report Share Posted October 1, 2008 I see where your coming from . that has to be difficult . I would hate it when someone would be staring at my scars too. and they still do. Unfortunately that is what people do. i gues that when someone yes my burn scars and I see that, i just ignore it. Usually they are too afraid to say anything at all about them . Perhaps you could try using A cover up cream on them?Or there are new stuff that makes scars fade away more and look less noticeable. I think it is very hard to have cutting scars because people are aware that some people self injure. If anyone ever asks about them, just say they are old scars, or years of mis guided youth. I do not want you to feel ashamed or embarasses about them . It happened and now it is over. Scars fade away in time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kay_J Posted October 2, 2008 Report Share Posted October 2, 2008 (edited) --------------------- Edited March 19, 2009 by Kay_J Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lie_low Posted October 2, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 2, 2008 Kj and Mscat, thank you for your replies. I have not really tried using scar treatment products on a regular basis. I have tried a cover up cream, but I am very pale and the lightest shade was to dark, and did not match my skin. Also, the main problem is that they are raised, so even though the color has faded they still stand out.I think that it is great that both of you can live your life as you do, and not care what other people think. I think part of the reason that I am not able to do that is that I am very shy and I dislike my body in general. I am not overweight, but I stopped wearing short sleeves and shorts years before my self-injury started just because I didn’t like my body, so even though I wish things were different, I would probably cover up even if I didn’t have the scars. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mscat Posted October 2, 2008 Report Share Posted October 2, 2008 It is all about how you feel about yourself and your body. I am heavy .... And have been though years of Anorexia and Bulimia. Been to both sides. No matter what i am still just me, and thats that. I do not wear shorts at all . now i just do not care about what others think about my tats or burn scars .Trust me, i am very burned up . Self inflicted too. More fresh ones. Those are the ones I hide. the new burns that have blisters and ooze. yuck. when I Si I SI, menaing that I si to cause damage and serious about it . SO after those heal a littel bit, then i will not care anymore about covering them. My Burns always take a few months to heal too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EliDavis Posted October 21, 2008 Report Share Posted October 21, 2008 I have a similiar problem. It is hard to hind the scars or come up with an excuse as to what happened. I have done fairly well for the past 6 years and nobody has figured it out. I usually cut in places where it is common to get a cut, but I am active in outdoor activities so it is common for injurys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mscat Posted October 31, 2008 Report Share Posted October 31, 2008 I really do not consider Self injury as A problem..... To me, even though i have not si'ed as much lately, it has become very much A part of what I do, even though i am very aware it is a unhealthy coping mechinism. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sallystern Posted November 17, 2008 Report Share Posted November 17, 2008 You said yourself that it is an unhealthly way of coping. It took me forever and a day to realize I had a problem with this. I am just glad I got help before it got too bad. I rationalized my SI and internalized all my pain until I wanted to explode. My husband found my cuts one night and questioned how I could have so many accidents. After a few painful days I admitted what and why I SI. To my surprise he has begun to understand. He is very supportive of me. I know that not all partners are as supportive. There is a new scar cream over the counter I heard will work to reduce or eliminate the scars. I will try to fnid it and post it for you and maybe try it myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mscat Posted November 22, 2008 Report Share Posted November 22, 2008 I have heard that people can have cosmetic surgery done to eliminate all scars. However, I am certain that it is costly:eek: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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