I miss everybody

[D Dub]

Just wanted to let everyone know I'm back. Sorry for disappearing, this computer got messed up and just got it fixed. I've still been struggling with my tiny penis. No suicide attempts but my confidence is at a all time low. My depression is getting worse by the day. I'm now in therapy for it. I have only got to do two sessions so far because one place sent me to another after my second session. This new place evaluated me but didn't tell me what she thought. I haven't got to meet with my new therapist yet so I'm still waiting for some serious therapy that I know I really need. The therapist at the first place made me feel like she really wants to help me and seemed seriously concerned for my well being. Maybe I'll try to go back to them. My mom is paying for it since I can't keep a job. Luckily it's dirt cheap because I proved I'm not working. I want to talk to my therapist about my issues with my tiny penis but I'm afraid she'll freak out on me. I know the majority of therapists think that issue isn't serious enough for their precious time. Maybe if I told her I tried to end my life 4 tmes because of it she'll be more understanding. Guess I need a sex therapist too. Or maybe just Mentalhelp!! I did get a chance at my old job delivering pizzas, but I freaked out and left. That made me realize that I have a severe case of social anxiety. The first therapist confirmed it. So now that really makes my battle even worse. I've had it for a long time but just now really seeing it. It's hard for me to be around people. I'm honestly scared of everybody but my parents. I'm so lost I just don't know what to do anymore. Still not back to playing drums and I think that's the main reason I'm lost. Now that plan A is long gone i really don't know what I want to do in life. Well I know i want to still play music but i need some serious therapy first. I guess that's enough for now, hope to hear from Irma and Dr. Allen soon. Oh and lifeless, good to see you back on here.

Life it seems to fade away

drifting further everyday

getting lost within myself

nothing matters no one else

I have lost the will to live

simply nothing more to give

there is nothing more for me

need the end to set me free

-Metallica

[IrmaJean]

D Dub, it's good to hear from you! I'm sorry things are still so tough. I think it's great that you are trying therapy. Your therapist is there for you and should accept anything that you express without judgment. In fact, the more honest and open you are with your therapist about how you've been feeling, the better chance you'll have at helping yourself. If you find the match isn't working, I'd recommend finding another therapist. I've struggled some with social anxiety in the past and it can be very stressful and upsetting. I hope therapy proves to be helpful, Dub. I hope you are feeling better very soon. Take care.

[flander]

I did get a chance at my old job delivering pizzas, but I freaked out and left.

I don't blame you. "Pizza delivery is the second most dangerous job in the western world"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfTqN5ZAN10

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hrOhtz1DY8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DH3sVNAogo4

I hope you enjoyed the TV show and got a few laughs.

[lifeless existence]

Hi D Dub. IrmaJean is right. You need to let the therapist know how much this bothers you. If it doesn't seem like she takes this issue seriously, then she should really find a new line of work. It sounds like the therapist at the first place was a good one. Do you know why they sent you elsewhere?

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi D Dub,

Welcome back.

Lifeless is making a good point. Why were you sent away from the first place? Also, you should press home how important this is for you. Frankly and in my opinion, any therapist who thinks that a problem is minor is not worth going to.

Allan