qwertybartfast Posted December 4, 2010 Report Share Posted December 4, 2010 My head is consumed with what my ex husband did to me. But maybe its all my fault i always started the fights which led to him raising his hands to me not actually hitting me but punching the wall next to me. Id try get away from him and actually leave the flat but he wouldnt let me and restrained me and through me around pushed my head on the bed. Telling me he trying to calm me down. I would punch him on his arms and he would always show me the bruises and make me feel guilty which i did. He always thretn to punch my face in and always taunt me saying he never loved me he never wanted to marry me and didnt want me. I used to through stuff at him to. ITs all my fault i would provoke him. Even after i left he still befriended me i spoke to him a couple more times on the phone and was gonna go back to him and sort it out but in the end i just couldnt i text him it was over but even then he still took money from me he took £1000 of my wadges never paid it back all he gave me as spending money was £30 thensaid he cant help anymore when he stole my money of me i just cant get over it. I feel abuse used and bullied and cant move on from it. that was all 5 months ago and its all still sooo raw and hurts so much i just want to end it all. I have so many other issues. But this 1 consumes me and i hate my self :mad: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
58corvette Posted December 4, 2010 Report Share Posted December 4, 2010 I am glad you are still here & posting. I asked you before but not sure if you were able to answer. Is there a Crisis Hotline Available for you?are you able to seek some type of Community Help or Counsiling? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
qwertybartfast Posted December 4, 2010 Author Report Share Posted December 4, 2010 i feel unable to talk to people on a 1 to 1 basis or even on the phone. I do have numbers i can call and have been referd to counclling but i feel unable to even pick up the phone to make an appointment let alone actually going down there and telling them everything. i wouldnt know where to start and would be afraid of breaking down in front of them. i have had breakdowns before and its terrifying i cant go through that anymore i really feel helpless and have started drinking to block out the the pain:( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
58corvette Posted December 4, 2010 Report Share Posted December 4, 2010 I understand. I am doing the same exact thing. Im not reaching out yet, to Crisis Help Line, Support Groups or other possible available contact. So who am I to recommend. I need to follow my own advice.However because I can relate to your feeling's of helplessness I can relate & try to help as I am trying to be helped. At least we are both able to write here on this site & communicate.Hopefully we will both find the Courage to get the help we need. Please continue as I am to hope & believe for both of us & many others!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaneE Posted December 9, 2010 Report Share Posted December 9, 2010 The abuse for me happened between 2000 and 2006, then it was verbal, now it's just... ordinary irreconcilable differences? The problem now is me. He's over it. He thinks it happened so long ago I should get over it. It's been so long, but I can't get over it. My inability to get over it is poisoning my family, and I'm the one who's hated for it now.Please get help, you've got to take care of this now, dont' worry about breaking down. If you don't do it now, it will go on, and on, and on and on. The breakdown may be worse later. Gotta deal with it now, please!From someone who did it wrong.Good luck and sympathyJane Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkness Posted December 17, 2010 Report Share Posted December 17, 2010 You shouldn't blame yourself for what he did. Ultimately, everyone makes their own choice, and when people abuse someone, they can acuse other people, but ultimately it was something they did by their own choice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustTrying Posted December 18, 2010 Report Share Posted December 18, 2010 I NORMALLY try to stay out of this thread and others..... but for some reason I was drawn here.....BABY GIRL.... I have been hit ... BAD.... been in the hospital many times... broken jaw when I was 15... after that it has always been something I could tell the docs... I FELL, I was working on the truck and DANG the transmission fell on me... etc???YOU did nothing wrong.... IN MY MIND when my Hus hurts me .... it is because he feels bad about himself and is taking it out on me.... on that he THINKS is weak..... BUT he does not KNOW ... and yes I can say this on the internet now because I am NOT going to do it.... BUT I had plans to kill him and HOPED like hell I would get away with it.... WHO would miss him??? NO ONE EVEN talked to him but me..... but any way... Please take care of yourself...BUT If you need a place to run to ... you can come here.... you would need to help me around here... but you would be safe.... JTI JUST HATE to hear a woman or a man being abused..... but IF you need me PM me... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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