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advice needed


mr.ghost
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I guess this is an out cry for help

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i`m new as you can see. i`ve been searching for info to help me & have read many posts here.

This is actually pertaining to my wife. i really don`t even know where to start but i`ll try & make this post as short but to the point as possible.

first off, i met this woman about 12 yrs ago (worked for same company) and i guess we were attracted to each other but i was in a relationship & have NEVER cheated on anyone & wouldn`t for ANY reason. a little over 3 yrs ago, this woman ""my wife now" txt me and id just so happens that my previous relationship ended about 7 months prior to her txt. we got togather dated and everything was great! about 2 months into our dating, i noticed little spurts "i call em" of jelousy" i kinda ignored them but they got worse. i got to know her parents very well and now,, they are like my own. anyway, i found out she had a car wreck back in 1992 in which she had a SEVERE heard injury. the diogness mer mom told me was a "Bruised brain" which had her in a coma for 2 days. she was 21 at the time. anyway, her mom told me the docs report stated "Amazing recovery" and my wife told me the doc told her, little woman, it wasn`t me that saved you, it was the man upstairs!! anyway, after 3 months went by, she & her mom went back for a checkup, & the doc asked her mom, do you think shes ok? acts normal in your opnion? her mom stated, well i suppose and his reply was, i certainly don`t. he then a few minutes later told my wife, you must NEVER drink alochol & you`ll need to take med for the rest of your life. well she never did & i saidll this to give you her background.

about 6 months into our relationship. she seemed better & i asked her to marry me, i being totally in love & 100% committed to her, she said i don`t like your home & i`ll never live there because thats where your ex lived" neat certainly not new 3 bedroom home & a nice shop the opposite side of town, she has a single wide mobile home on her dads property that her ex husband & her bought. she had been divorced about 4 months when we met.

Anyway, i thought sure i`ll sell & move to where you live & i`ll buy a nice double wide & build a shop with the equity from my home. before marrying her, i noticed episodes of mad rages over nothing & she started acusn me of cheating ect, i`ve NEVER! & never gave her a reason to, she just dreams things up out of no where!!! well, i married her, a little over a yr ago & i still have my home & she has hers. i`ve not sold because i`m afraid to. she has hit me busting my mouth, hets mad over what she believes & hangs up & ignores me & i forgot to mention, she txts me around the clock & has since the first. if i dont respond within a couple of minutes, she acuses me of ignoring her, n calls me terrible names. she doesn`t want me associating with anyone at all it seems.. she doesn`t really have any friends to speak of & now i know why. shes always putting someone down & usually its her sister & niece. she doesn`t make very much money shes part-time & can`t get full time. i`ve paid oput more money on her than i care to think about even before we married. i`ve paid lightbills, put time on her prepaid ph, paid car insurance, bought her nice things & the list goes on & on. when i listed my home, i had it listed for about 5 grand over the appraised value buying time to see if i could get her to go to the doc because i know she IS bipolar with possibly scitsafrennia ""probaly didn`t spell that correct" . i used to play music in a band & always invited her, she put a stop to that, i have a motorcycle i love riding, now i can`t ride without her. my friends don`t even call or come around anymore because they know how she is. yes, i did talk her into going to the doc, not a physcratist because she refused.. she in now on prozac, went from 20 to 40 mg daily. shes just constantly acusn me of another woman & the txtn is & has drove me Crazy. i have a cookie distributor ship, i service walmart & kroger with a route that involves about 100 miles a day & if i`m checking my product in, your not suppose to have a cell ph in use but she will txt & i`ll txt back and say, i`m checking in i`ll call asap, she then acuses me of having a woman working at the store & the reason i can`t txt is because of that. i mean just dreams stuff up out of no where. these women & it is mostly women that work at walmart & krogers that recieve, she acuses me of. just last week, i was checking in at walmart & i guess i didn`t have service in the back of that paticular store so she called recieving because i had just talked to her a few minutes before getting there, she called and asked for me & naturally the reciever handed me the ph & said its for you & it was my wife, she said ok, you can`t txt because of that bitch, i said i haven`t even recieved as txt she said no, because you have your ph off & hung up on me. i called n finally got her when i left & she said, your just a f---- whore and hung up on me. i`ve begged n begged her to stop this irratic behavior but she just won`t! shes always talking bad to me & acusn me of just whatever she chooses.. she constantly tells me, its because we don`t have a home togather. i tell her NO, its because you for whatever reason can`t & have NEVER trusted me & i don`t believe you ever will. she gets mad at the least little thing & will just throw something. shes just out of control. always acusing me of liiking at other women ect,, just whatever enters her mind!!!! she got mad and ran off this this little bar I call a redneck bar & drinks. shes done that twice & when i would see her car there & go in because i wanted to talk to her, she would cause a scene by screamning at me & saying she didn`t have anything to say & i promise she had only went because she got mad at me & acused me & run off. she can`t stand it because i still have my home & have a place to go. . last time she don`t that, we stayed apart about 3 days & i told her if she ever done it again, she had mise well go to the attorney becasue i would divorce her. thank God, there aren`t any children involved. my 2 closest friends have advised my to get out & i know thats probaly gonna have to happed because there isn`t reallyy ever any reasoning or talking to her. she will get mad & just blame everything on me. as for her parents,,they have told me they think i`m the best thing that ever happened to het & i`ve went far & beyond what most would & to do what i must. she gets mad at them also over nothing and mistreats them!!! she tells me she loves me but, her actions just don`t say that. oh & least, she constantly picks my home ph up & goes through called id when she does happen to come here & will call people out of the blue & harrass them. i stay at her home with her every night & i`m also in the medicare supplement buisiness part time & i do have people call here some at the house because my office is in my home & shes even caused problems call people & asking who they are. jumped one woman because she had called about a supplent for her mother.. always wants to see my cell phone records ect,, ok, please give me some advice, i`m sorry for the long posts but was just trying to give some insight & p.s. shes a pretty woman & has no reason to be insecure if thats what it is.. so very controling and has just about made me crazy dealing with this because one minute she can be fine, the next, shes mad about whatever & a different person. the Constant txtn & trying to keep up with every move i make is very irritating. when she is at work & not much going on, she will call or txt also. i`ve NEVER gave this woman a reason not to trust me & i compliment her all the time. she drinks about 2 or 3 margritas every afternoon which is a no-no for her. the only time she really is pleasant to be around is at supper time or late at night, i think her mind comes to rest somewhat. any advice appreciated. i`m at witts end with our marriage & i can`t get anywhere trying to talk to her, she just gets mad and blows up..

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I take your advice to heart. the main problem is that she doesn`t admit she has a problem yes, she did go to a regular M.D. & first tried paxil for about a month, then got him to change it to prozac. took 20 mg for about 3 months with littler difference. she`s had Terrible migrane headaches since the wreck yrs ago & the nero-surgeon told her she would. with that said, she told me her headaches aren`t quiet as frequent taking the prozac. she stepped it up to 40 mg (2daily) about a month ago, still no difference.. i honestly in my humble opnion think she need a physcraist but she ABSOLUTELY will not go. they are the ones trained as you know to evalueate patients & if this doesn`t work, then change to something else. also, i`ve studied n studied, i think the may need a mood stablizer such as a small daily dosage of lithum? she picks fight CONSTANTLY by acusn me & will dispute ANYTHING i say on ANY subject. i cannot for the life of me get along with her. i`ve always been known & consider a laid back type of guy & i consider myself strong and able to handle anything but this has honsetly got the better of me. i stay stressed constantly throughout the day because if afraid of what shes gonna say or acuse me of next! i have devoted myself to her & her well-being for ovr 2 yrs now & i`ve told her & asked & begged her to stop acusn me of things & disputing everything i tell her. just this morning, she yxy me while i was working & i didn`t hear it & she called 1 minute later chewing me out asking me where i was then started the acusn & hung up. anyway, i truly appreciate your time & advice & it helps hearing a womans opnion. have a great day..

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Hi Mr. Ghost, I like Linda have bipolor and PTSD. I have done many extreme things in my life, but I am stable at the moment through medication. I have never personally attack those around me however, I may have irritated and confused them, but never attacked.

You sound like you have hung in there for the long haul, I think that says alot for your charactor and that you want to support her, but she is fighting you at every turn. I agee with Linda, you are not going to be able to help her if she feels there is no problem. I think you have some difficult decisions to make. My main thought is that you stay safe, even if you do decide to leave at some point, do so safely, I have a feeling if you leave, she will become really violent and or relentless.

I don't know if any of this is helpful, but all I can offer is support. Take care.

Shannon

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I believe deep inside, she knows otherwise she wouldn`t have went to the reg Doc, Md. her older sister even suffers from being bipolar & i know she talked to her a few times about going daying how much better she felt being on meds, i think that along with me staying on her made her reach the point of going but, she WONT admit that she actually has a problem to me, she states i`m the one with the problem ""easier to blame someone else syndrom" she becomes mean and VERY violent at the drop of a hat. i`ve told n told her we wouldn`t ever have a problem if she`d just stop acusin me & looking for reasons to jump on me call me terrible names along with the acusn. yes, i love her but there`s just no reasoning with her at all. she just REFUSES to take responsibality for any of her actions. i`ve proven her wrong soo many times about soo many things. like just a week or so aho, she lost her car keys & acused me n cussed me for taking them, i told her i didn`t have them but she insisted i did. a few minutes later, she found them. its things like this all the time let alone the acusn aabout other woman CONSTANTLY. shes miserable inside " this i know" & i`ve tried sooo hard to show her a better way n life, told her i`d stick with her no matter what & i think its at the point that she just does me however she wants & doesn`t worry because she knows i`m there. i KNOW shes been faithful to me. if i even quiestioned or thought for one minute she hadn`t, i`d be at the attorner INSTANTLY!!!! we have had some good times but the bad is just out-weighing the good & hit that point that she`s going to make some improvements or, i`m gone forever. i feel like a Completely differen`t person, don`t even feel like myself anymore.

thankyou for your response & concern Linda, its TRULY appreciated...

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your exactly right!!! i`ve stuck beside her & took just about everything shes dished out & when you have one that can`t see their faults, only others & knows deep inside they need professional help, it renders one useless to try & stand by them forever!!! thanks much for your words of wisdom..

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