ilovemusic Posted January 22, 2011 Report Share Posted January 22, 2011 I really don't know what to say here. In the past two months, I've went from having suicidal thoughts and getting happy again. When I got happy, I had friends make fun of me and I hardly consider them friends anymore. After 13 months, me and my girlfriend just can't make it work. People at school yell at me and it only gets worse when I get more down.I was just at a little gathering and people asked what was wrong. When I told them, none of them said another word to me so, I said "I've got to get the hell outta here. I'm depressed as hell and nobody gives a shit," and I was right. Nobody followed to help me. Not even my girlfriend who was there. Nor did any of the people there who I consider close friends. I get paranoid when writing about this sort of thing on the computer, because I'm scared that it's only one more thing people can use against me. If anyone is in the house, I freak out on them if they ask what's wrong because I feel so...weak when my parents ask me. I'm scared to talk about it, but I'm begging everyone for help in non-direct, and sometimes fearfully violent ways! :'( Please help! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Symora Posted January 22, 2011 Report Share Posted January 22, 2011 Hello Ilove music, welcome to the forum...I'm sorry to hear that you feel epressed and part of being depressed is being down on yourself, so know that the depression is what is making you feel so hopeless... I've suffered from depression and know that it can feel quite overwhelming, but it usually gets better, so have hope. I have also felt that people just ignore me when I tell them how bad I feel, but now I feel that it is mostly because they just don't know what to say or how to respond. They feel helpless and so it is often easier to just avoid it ... There are people out there who are knowledgeable about depression and those are the people you need to reach out to. Have you talked to a doctor about what you are living, that is probably the first step. If it has been lasting for awhile, and especially if you are having suicidal ideations, then you really should see a doctor first. Therapists, pastors, elders can also be very helpful in helping you identify what may be making you feel so bad. Is this the first time you suffer a long depressive period like this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ilovemusic Posted January 22, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 22, 2011 Thing is, I see a therapist once a week, a psychiatrist once a month, and I take three different pills for my mental illnesses (ADHD). It is also not the first time I've had prolonged episodes such as this. I was actually admitted to a mental hostpital for 6 days.The help I get from my doctors does help. The problem is, the people I'm almost forced to be around (School, mostly) are the people that get me down the most, so it's not like I can switch who I'm around. This stuff has happened so often off and on, that even people who used to be there just give up on me. Also, I should mention that recently, I don't suffer constant pain. More like it's there throughout the day and when I finally get home, I can get it cleared up within...Oh a few hours. Still, it's not easy going to school because of it anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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