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Not really looking for a relationship...I think.


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I'm sad. All the time. Why? I'm lonely. I feel like I'm not loved by anyone. I want a girlfriend so bad...I just want someone I can hold and fall asleep with. The problem is that I'm not sure if I want that or if I want to feel good about myself. I get so terribly hurt by rejection...Like suicidal. And half the time, I don't even like them that much.

I do feel like a girlfriend would solve all my problems, though... :D I'm just not sure if it's the right choice, but I don't know what else to do...

EDIT: Reading through that, I KNOW it probably wouldn't be the right choice to get a girlfriend.

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  • 2 years later...

Freud is someone I have a bit of a loathing for but one thing he said which I think adds up is that if the natural development of the human body is denied - it can lead to psychological trauma. So, just to get to what I mean: when a baby walks , talks and so on all is good. Get to puberty though and the body plus related psychology is expecting things and when they don't happen the mind plays tricks and the biology keeps reminding you.

Society has developed all kinds of control mechanisms around sexual development for obvious reasons as well as the general cycle of education to jobs delaying things.

I recall in my early teens how the ones who seemed to gain most confidence were those who "cheated" so got sex by whatever means at the age their body was ready to go. In some ways they got an education in confidence that pays dividends in other areas. There are other ways around this but you need a supportive family arrangement around you and group of people to assist so your development does not enter into this psychological trauma zone that messes up other areas of your life.

Say you had been having lots of sexual encounters to an extent they validated that you were good. OK so you can walk and now run in the bedroom. Your psychology has no issues over these things. Females have confirmed in real time that all is good.

That last paragraph is pretty powerful to your general state of mind. If none or hardly any of those things are your real experience then your skills at making it so have been reduced as well as the need to compensate your feelings for the demise that has taken place. Your biology is carrying around this debt to nature and so is your psychology.

Sounds to me like you need a sexually validating relationship. Not sure where they have those.......

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  • 2 weeks later...

@trialbylife - R U a behavioral health clinician? If not you should be, good stuff. I swear I think prostitution should only be legal I think it should be a respected profession. I mean that sincerely.

@Music - I totally hear you and wish you luck. Maybe start w some female friends & build your confidence & skill set from there?

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