runningaway Posted March 17, 2011 Report Share Posted March 17, 2011 I really am panicing now, I awoke with a distirbing new OCD thought this morning and I am very distressed, I am 7 and a half months pregnant and I dont know what to do. I have pure O OCD but this thought has been going on in one way or another for like weeks and this morning took a new turn.I got into a new relationship last year, it started in the Jan 2010. In the March I went away with a girlfriend, I was suffering with guilt from a previous break up and so often as I do self medicated on alcohol. Anyway on the last day I got so drunk I ended up sleeping with someone although my friend did not witness this. Although this mistake did make me realise I did actually want to be with my current partner.I decided not to tell him as he is dead against cheating, my friend was not any the wiser, and the person lived in a different country, it was a one off. Also I had introduced my partner to my young daughter (he is a great step dad and she loves him) we were trying for a baby and I fell pregnant in august. We were really happy about this.Now I am feeling guilt ALOT well about 12 hours a day everyday, it gets me up the night, now my OCD is always worse when pregnant but because this is a real thought IE not one of my made up in my head ones I dont know what to do for the best. I woke up this morning thinking what if this bloke (who is still in touch with my friend) finds out I am pregnant and thinks it is his? Despite it being conceived 5months after that holiday? I have no doubt the baby is my partners but what if the bloke thinks there is a chance it is, i dont know how clued up blokes are like this?Anyway I guess my question is should I confess? If i do i am afraid I will loose my home, my daughter will loose another dad and he will never trust me again and he keeps saying stuff like once a cheat always a cheat but I can see no other way of getting around my thought, although if I do tell the OCD will keep on that he is going to leave me.I dont know what to do this thought is driving me to despair now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted March 17, 2011 Report Share Posted March 17, 2011 I'm going to respond further, but wanted to let you know that someone was here and listening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted March 17, 2011 Report Share Posted March 17, 2011 I don't think any of us can answer that question for you, running. You have to do what you feel is best. I do think it best not to act on a panicky thought, but rather on what is right in the situation. This is not always easy to know.Do have any methods of calming yourself? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
runningaway Posted March 17, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 17, 2011 thanks for replying, I cant think straight at the moment, I should be taking my meds but not cause even though they said it is ok I read the baby can have withdrawel.I dont want to act when I am pregnant cause i know i am more hormonal and thoughts get worse but i cant stop crying i dont know what to do this should be a happy time but i hate myself so much for doing that and then if i tell i threaten my daughters secure home i cant cope any more i want to run away Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
runningaway Posted March 17, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 17, 2011 I was intending to keep it to myself as I knew it would only cause harm to everyone and felt it selfish to tell (and i want to protect my daughter) and now it has been a year ago I feel he will wonder why I waited and also this is his first child and dont want to ruin it for him, I didnt really give it a thought last yr. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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