shanrucas Posted March 31, 2011 Report Share Posted March 31, 2011 Today is such a grim day, I just don't know how much I can take anymore. Everyone says how strong I am for doing want Im doing taking care of my mom all these years, and for surviving the things I have survived. I just don't want to be strong anymore, Im tired, there seems to be no relief from the pain in sight. I just want to curl up and sleep and not wake up. I feel alone, mostly exhausted, there is nothing left, I want it over with. I often wander what I have done in my life that was so terrible that I must watch my mom suffer on a day to day basis. And to face loosing it all in the end. I am tired, tired. I can't even do the simplest things anymore. I want it all to stop now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randomperson Posted April 1, 2011 Report Share Posted April 1, 2011 I know the reality you face as I faced it myself. Scared me to death.Still does when I lose hope.You have to find friends something to ease the pressure at times or it gets too intense. Do you have someone, anyone that can watch over your mom just a few times a month and let you get out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna- Posted April 1, 2011 Report Share Posted April 1, 2011 It's hardly surprising that you feel like this, shan. It must be relentless, day after day after day. :(Wish I could suggest something you could do, but you are doing all you can. I hear you ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ASchwartz Posted April 1, 2011 Report Share Posted April 1, 2011 Shan,I've been there and know just what you feel because I've felt it. Just hang in there and when you feel alone remember we're here for you.Allan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanrucas Posted April 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2011 Thank you guys for answering my cries. I do the best that I can. I managed to get a 3 hour break went out to be with my horses, didn't feel much like being social with the other people there so I kept to myself.I feel a little more in control, though I feel the choas just beneath the survice, its scary but I am doing the best to control the beast. Im back at home now, have my headphones on and listening to my favorite music, while I watch mom, she's sleeping at the moment. I almost feel like a manic episode is around the corner, maybe more of a mixed episode. Will do my best to keep it at bay. I just wish I has a life.Thanks again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindamomof7 Posted April 3, 2011 Report Share Posted April 3, 2011 Hey Shannon I'm just reading this today and Yup your manic side came right? Be productive and try to keep the balance... You know where to find me..... :-)) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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