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I Don't want to be "strong" anymore!


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Today is such a grim day, I just don't know how much I can take anymore. Everyone says how strong I am for doing want Im doing taking care of my mom all these years, and for surviving the things I have survived. I just don't want to be strong anymore, Im tired, there seems to be no relief from the pain in sight. I just want to curl up and sleep and not wake up. I feel alone, mostly exhausted, there is nothing left, I want it over with. I often wander what I have done in my life that was so terrible that I must watch my mom suffer on a day to day basis. And to face loosing it all in the end. I am tired, tired. I can't even do the simplest things anymore. I want it all to stop now.

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Guest ASchwartz


I've been there and know just what you feel because I've felt it. Just hang in there and when you feel alone remember we're here for you.


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Thank you guys for answering my cries. I do the best that I can. I managed to get a 3 hour break went out to be with my horses, didn't feel much like being social with the other people there so I kept to myself.

I feel a little more in control, though I feel the choas just beneath the survice, its scary but I am doing the best to control the beast.

Im back at home now, have my headphones on and listening to my favorite music, while I watch mom, she's sleeping at the moment. I almost feel like a manic episode is around the corner, maybe more of a mixed episode. Will do my best to keep it at bay. I just wish I has a life.

Thanks again

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