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aspergers syndrome and relationships


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hi all. this is rather long, bare with me.

i am a 19yo girl with aspergers syndrome. i have a boyfriend, who i like very much, but i don't "love" him. in fact i don't love anyone. i can never feel close emotional attatchment to any humans, i can to animals and even objects...but not other people. i know that is a symptom of aspergers, but im not sure how far up or down the autism/aspergers spectrum i sit. anyhow. i'd like to love him, but i just find having time to myself is more important. question number 1, will i ever feel that deep emotional attatchment people call 'love?'

lately when we make out, he touches me in places no one has ever touched me before, u know what i mean. it makes me feel very strange. i don't know what to do, to let him or to pull away. its not agressive, or anything and i asume that normal people do this when they make out etc. ive never had sex, but i always thought i'd really like to. i masturbate a lot, and when im in that mood it feels like my body takes over. now that he touches me it makes me think twice about sex. masturbation is great, but when i think about another person sharing that feeling with me it is wierd. i find i have a strange sexuality, like sometimes i feel like a man and sometimes not and other things like that. more questions, why do i feel wierd when he touches me? isn't that meant to be a good feeling? why do i lose control? why does my body say it wants sex and then when a guy just touches me it goes all wierd? is this normal for aspergers or is it something else?

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hello, I did not respond to your post because I do not know exactly what Asperger's is. But I can certainly relate to intimacy issues. When I was young, I had difficulty making friends much less developing a romantic relationship. For me it was more important to develop emotional intimacy in friendships first, with other humans.

So apparently your situation is different from mine, and I do not know how to respond. Perhaps someone else will come along with more knowledge about Asperger's Syndrome than I do. What does your doctor have to say?

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I think if this is your first experience with A man touching u in those places, then it is normal to feel these feelings. Your body likes it, but your mind is unsure . It is new and a little scary, yet exciting at the same time.

i do not think the Aspergers plays too much of A rle in this, only that you do have A hard time getting close to people, and keep your distance . Also, that is why it could be harder for you to have A man physically touching your body in A sexual manner.

Remeber that all girls feel kind of weird when it is the first time ever being touched by A man . That is perfiectly normal. It really is . Communication is inportant between you and your Boyfriend, and letting him know what your comfortable with and not ready to do.

Do not be forced into doing anything that you are not ready for, or allow him to "force you" into anything that you do not want.

Do not let him take advantage of you , especially when this is very new to you, and confusing.

I am unsure what you ment by "losing control" but, think that you mean that either it feels like your giving in to him, or that your body is reacting to the "sexual feelings" that you have not really had experienced much of with A partner.

you are ok, it is absolutely normal. Autistic Spectrum Disorder , is just that this is not you , it is a part of you, and Your A young woman men are going to be interested in.

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  • 2 months later...

I also have aspergers and love is also a bit difficult for me, I'm found weird by my piers because I''m one of the rare boys who doesn't care about having sex with a woman, I find it funny how they are so immature that if you are a virgin you are suddenly a freak of nature or gay.

I think I know what you want which is what I want also, going out on a limb you want someone who you can love and loves you back, a relationship that isn't only about sex I'm guessing. You also said that when the sex part comes along you feel weird, maybe its because your boyfriend isn't your real lover.

This could be the farthest thing from what you feel like I said I'm going out on a limb but as a asperger this is how I feel and I'm willing to be patiant to find my true love rather then kinda love because that love will always make you crash and burn after a couple years together.

I hope this helps.

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