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Great Grandmother Abuses My Grandmother


Esruc
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You need to call seniors service center and tell them what is going on & have somebody come over as soon as possible & evaluate her[great-grandmother] I'm just wondering how old is she when my mother started going into dementia she also started out like this and as time progressed she got worst & tried to kill me! I flipped out then I looked into the phone book it was in the city pages under adult services & whaen I called they go me into senior services my mother had to be taken out of the house because she was a danger to herself and mostly other people. Also my mother had a stroke that affected that part of her brain it's like cognitive and nobody knew she had one. She now is on her last stage of Alzh. Can you call them don't let of course let anybody know and explain the situation I'm sure they will help you it doesn't cost anything and if it does the state you live in picks up the tab!!!

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Es,

Someone who makes credible death threats against someone they live with, and (potentially) has the means to carry them out, is the proverbial "threat to self or others" that gets talked about, so often. It doesn't matter too much what the diagnosis is; this is a potentially dangerous situation. Can your grandmother live anywhere else?

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Then aren't we talking about a grown woman making her own choice?

It's notoriously difficult to get anyone else to do what we think they should.

You could possibly try to get her evaluated as an elder-abuse victim (it doesn't matter if the abuser is even older.) That might work better than a specific assessment for Alzheimer's.

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Well, maybe not necessarily "should" "leave it alone" ...

Maybe it'll make more sense with roles reversed.

Say you were living with someone important to you. Maybe their behavior isn't ideal, but you don't feel like you're being abused. On the other hand, your family, looking at what they know of your relationship, feel that you're being abused, and are in danger from this person.

How much interference would you accept, in your life? You've made a decision to stay with this person; you're presumably aware of the facts; and you've accepted the risks as you know them. Wouldn't you tend to push away people who repeatedly question your judgment?

This is not an entirely academic description, for me: I lived with a wife for a number of years whom I now describe as abusive, and shut out my parents and brothers during that time. The isolation was largely my wife's idea, a common development in an abusive relationship, but I agreed to it. Pressure from my family to tell me I was being abused would likely only have strengthened the isolation. On the other hand, the minute I reached out to them and asked for help, my family rallied around me ... and in that process, I learned how it ought to work.

I know it may be hard, but you won't be able to "make" your grandmother see the light. All you can do is support her, if and when she needs you.

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Oh, my crystal ball sucks. I don't honestly know whether you should or shouldn't keep trying to help your grandmother.

All I guess I meant was not to beat yourself up if you can't change the situation, because it's inherently not your decision.

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