Guest SomethingOrOther Posted May 15, 2011 Report Share Posted May 15, 2011 That's good that you managed to go to the party. I understand that it wasn't easy. I hope you did enjoy it a bit. Take care,S. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robot Posted May 15, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 15, 2011 another shockingly horrible day, my parents where here for 5 hours, i behaved like a child having a tantrum, i hit myself, cried, and pulled excruciating faces. Funny how the urge to not behave that way just makes it happen, i guess thats anxiety, a self fulfilling prophecy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SomethingOrOther Posted May 15, 2011 Report Share Posted May 15, 2011 Hi robot,it doesn't sound like you were happy about your parents visit. Did they give you any support? I hope you have a good evening,S. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robot Posted May 15, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 15, 2011 they are too spportive, i wish they had just kicked me up the butt the second i got unwell, and mt evening is not so good, im lying on my bed ruminating. Great. Im not looking foward to tomorrow, wish i could have a break through that was significant to me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted May 15, 2011 Report Share Posted May 15, 2011 What would that breakthrough look like to you, robot? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sissagwaad Posted May 16, 2011 Report Share Posted May 16, 2011 begins. I have to control this im trying my dam hardest, im doing things o keep me above water, swimming and pilates. Ive started eating again, although i still feel like im going to crash, i cant get it out of my mind. Im trying to do this for myself and not just others. But i feel like i need to punish myself, i hve been very stupid and i deserve to suffer. That is what my mind keeps telling me. My brother said i was an idiot and 'i have just carried the mentally ill gene on to another generation in my family'. That really hurt. now ive let down generations and not just my immediate family, thats a hard one to take.not that you're asking, but i'd say its your brother that is the idiot.Mental illnessd has not been proven to be genetic.i haven't got much idea yet, what you are struggling with yet, but it seems like relationships, and relationships with families might be one of them. There is a lot of merit in the KISS idea, when life seems to get complicated. (Keep It Simple.....) and, remember to be easy on yourself, you are one of a kind, and here for a very special purpose.....uncovering it might take a bit of digging, but if you continue digging and looking, what you are looking for will find you.....Just to do the best you can, one day at a time, is really all life expects from any of us hugs, bw Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robot Posted May 16, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 16, 2011 i have involuntary violent jerking (with grunts) which make me look insane (maybe im really ill) which make it obvious i am unwell. Its a real problem that i cant control, it happens when i am most stressed. I cant tell why this happens. My brother just called me a retard. And said i will end up in hospital on my own, in a mad house. My end is nigh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SomethingOrOther Posted May 16, 2011 Report Share Posted May 16, 2011 Hi robot,your brother isn't helpful (or right). I suggest you don't talk with him about your issues and when he calls you a retard, ask for a grown up conversation without insults.Do the doctors know about your jerking? It sounds a bit like Tourette syndrome. Have you heard of this? There's probably different possible causes, but it has nothing to do with retardation or madness. Can you focus on the things you want to do today?S. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sissagwaad Posted May 16, 2011 Report Share Posted May 16, 2011 i ruminate about what i could have done to prevent this, i could have meditated, my dad hs told me for years to do so incase this might happened and i ignored his adviced even after i has a breakdown three years ago. When i recovered i just took it for granted, i know im a fool and thats whats hardest.i hear what you're saying, cause i've been there,dont that. A lot of us probably have. So you say things seemed very black for you 3 years ago as well....Sounds like you had a lot of useful ideas, like being responsible, having your own business and all.....but then what happened?Well, a lot of things, completely outside of your control my friend. The banking Csars and their cronies took the us economy and much of the world down the tubes. Confidence fell, jobs lost, its been devastating. Fear and apprehension exploded and Hospitals and psyc dr's are told, its ok, we've got drugs that will take care of everything, and being completely overrun with people requiring help with just life and living. Finding the way to pick ourselves up, get through each day as best we can, holistically, with gentleness towards oneself, working towards unravelling the desparaging thinking connected with the blame game, so one can get to a simpler place, of acceptance, of doing simply the best one can, one day at a time.....Gratitude can pay huge dividends in enabling oneself to carry on.just my 2cents worth, hugs and love Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robot Posted May 16, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 16, 2011 cant stop the car crash, what should i do. Help me god. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SomethingOrOther Posted May 16, 2011 Report Share Posted May 16, 2011 Get out of the car.Focus on your breathing.Let those things wash over you.Know that it's okay to get help, if you think you need it.Is there something we can do that would help you?S. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robot Posted May 16, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 16, 2011 all my fault im about to ruin all my families lives, my parents are suppose to retire right now, now im letting them down, my twin sister is upset my brother hates me because im weak and stupid. If you could turn back time or whisk me into another dimension. Im trying to avoid this but i havent got time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sissagwaad Posted May 16, 2011 Report Share Posted May 16, 2011 oh Wow....that's quite a load of responsibility you've bought into it seems.Seems your entire family has blamitiss.no one else is accepting it except you. Somehow that seems not in your own best interests. hmmm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SomethingOrOther Posted May 16, 2011 Report Share Posted May 16, 2011 I know a youtube video that involves former times and a different dimension, but it's too funny to post.I'm not sure I understand where the limited time comes in. How much time do you have till what happens? It's everyones job to take care of their own lifes, not yours. You don't have the power to ruin it for them by being ill. S. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SomethingOrOther Posted May 18, 2011 Report Share Posted May 18, 2011 Hi robot,are things still difficult? How are you feeling now?S. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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