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Supressing the male sex drive


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I started asking questions on another thread. I don't want to divert that original thread so I'll continue here.

Is there any drugs to supress the male sex drive? I don't want to just supress erections, I want it so I'm not even attracted to my wife or other ladies at all.

Someone suggested a bad diet and no exercise in the other thread. I'm a diabetic and have to take care of myself, I don't have a choice. I work out, walk an hour a day and swim at the gym.

Unfortunately I have a 'muscular, jock, 6'6" 20 year old, well endowed' sex drive locked up in a 'short, ugly, going bald, middle aged, hung like a gnat' body.

I'm going crazy. I haven't had sex in 5 years. I want to be rid of this. Is there any chemical help at all?

retr0john

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Already had one of those, complete with a three minute cardiac arrest. Don't really want any more.....

So these drugs work by lowering testosterone levels? Seems I've heard a lot of commercials lately addressing these levels.

It's a pity really.....I don't want to sacrifice my health, I just want to stop having to masturbate 4 or 5 times a week.

retr0john

Edited by retr0john
still can't spell
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Guest SomethingOrOther

Hi john,

I can probably quite honestly say I know nothing about this. I still have an opinion... I would check very thoroughly if the medication that inhibits a normal body function is really healthy. Maybe you could try to get your wife more interested in sex? Take care.

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Hi john :)

Sorry this is probably a really nieve question, but..........

Why dont you want to be attracted to your wife or any other girl ?

Its ok to have a sex drive, we all have them.

Im sorry its driving you crazy, maybe your looking at the wrong solution for your problem. Chemicals may not be the answer, and as you know they can give such awful side effects.

Hmmm, sorry this probably dosnt help you :)

Take care

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I feel your frustration and desire to be rid of sexual drive.

I do it with my mind. I abstain from sexually suggestive media of any sort. I avert my eyes from women I find attractive. I do not participate in conversations with my friends regarding the attractiveness of women. When sexual thoughts enter my head inadvertently and I replace them and distract myself with other thoughts, like work or academia. I masturbate as infrequently as humanly possible. I'm down from several times daily to just a few times a month. I do not allow myself to feel guilty when I do, I just clear my thoughts when I'm done.

However, I consider this temporary treatment for symptoms of a disease I hope to be cured of soon. I do not wish this upon myself for eternity, it's no way to live, at any age.

I joined this board because I was searching for a solution. The anonymity of the Internet gave me a safe place to express my thoughts and feelings to a group of people that shared them.

Who else wants to live past this?

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Coming from a medical prospective (even if chemical castoration was a choice in your situation) the side effects are not worth the POSSIBILITY it might restrict or curb your sex drive. The side effects are as broad as gaining a few pounds to bone density loss to heart disease and heart attack. Of course there is more bad than good (depending on ones opinion or outlook on "good"). Have you tried therapy? I apologize if this post was not helpful to you. I wish you the best of luck.

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Recluse, I have low blood pressure. My doctors have changed my heart meds a couple times because my blood pressure is naturally low, and my heart meds has tried to lower it more.

Here is a link to a thread I started a while back. It explains my problems with my wife.

http://community.mentalhelp.net/showthread.php?t=6529

Thank you to all you ladies who took the time to offer up suggestions. I honestly do appreciate it! Believe me, I've considered many different courses of action, but celibacy seems to be what works the best, which brings me round back to this peskey sex drive problem.

retr0john

Edited by retr0john
still can't spell
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Guest SomethingOrOther

I've read some of it and it really looks like you can't talk with your wife about sex, is that right? At the same time, I wouldn't focus on stories from other people about her past sex life, because sex is probably one of the most lied about topics available. If you believe those people instead of her, it would be a bad move. But also you basically put it like the relationship is already over.

I'm sorry I bring this up in this thread, maybe you don't want to discuss this again, but I also feel like drugging your body is just a way to make it easier to stay in a non-functional relationship. It doesn't sound like it would make you "happier". Take care.

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She refuses to talk about her sexual past. I haven't asked about her past, except in a very general way. She won't even go there.

Right now I'm in a relationship that's like living with my sister. Splitting expenses, sharing bills. We even go out to eat together. But no intimacy. I refuse to let her see me nude, and I haven't made any effort to see her.

I don't hate her. I blame myself and my body for her total lack of response. I can't blame her for what I see as my shortcomings.

I've gave this a lot of thought. It's only logical I stay in this relationship. I had only slept with two women before my wife. Both times remarks were made about my size. I've grown to acknowlege the fact I have nothing to offer physically. It's me, not the whole of womenkind.

I'll never have sex again in my lifetime. Knowing this, why not stay in a relationship with a woman who seems to not care about sex at all? If I left her, I'd just have to find a woman who's content with a sexless relationship.

But it still comes back to this damn sex drive. I feel like a drug addict who's kicked the habit. I want it bad, but I know how bad it would be for me to 'indluge'.

So if I could, I'd gladly temporarly or permanantly kill off my need, my desire.

retr0john

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Hi John

I read a bit of the thread that you posted a while back, I still think there has to be another way for you - other than shoving chemicals into your body.

Heck Im no expert in relationships, and am probably the last person to try and help, given my track record - however I cant help but try.........

Isnt there a way that maybe you and your wife could sit down and have a heart to heart about the way you are feeling about yourself and how maybe you would like things to be different. Work out between you a way that could improove things. I know it will be a difficult conversation for you to have, but its got to be worth a try - right ?

And the way I see it, if I were in a relationship that felt more like Brother and Sister, instead of Husband and Wife, I would want to know what was happening with my partner, and try and work out a way forward - to make both of us happier.

You may even find that having a heart to heart, would ease some of your worries, and you never know some of that romance that has been lost over the years, may return. :(

Sorry not really much help - and have gotten off the subject - slightly

Take care

Edited by SweetSue
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Guest SomethingOrOther

Hi john,

I think you made a good first step when you went to therapy. I'm not sure your three conditions should be set up that strictly, but my point is a different one. You didn't ever bring this up again and instead assumed she has decided against your conditions. I know you wish she'd be as interested in resolving this as you are, but obviously she's not, so you might have to repeat your requests and work for getting an actual response. You can on the other hand just assume that it's all a result of your penis size, but since I know that penises aren't required to pleasure a woman, I actually doubt that's the whole problem.

Take care.

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Thanks for all your replies. I have to apologise, I didn't mean for this to get into a rehash of my failed sexual relationship with my wife.

Sweetsue, anytime I've had a heart to heart with her it's turned into me doing all the talking while she just sits (or lays) there saying "I'm fine, I'm satisfied, I'm happy, I'm.......tired. You just can't have a half of a heart to heart.

SomethingOrOther, I might be cutting off my nose to spite my face, but those three conditions are the least I'd be happy with. I could think of several more. I just can't see where any of them are unreasonable. If one is, I wish someone would point out how. I'm over being the one that's worring over this. That's why I was seeking the information I started this thread for.

skynight, I am insecure about my body now. What's stupid about all this is I am still very secure with myself in all other areas. I guess my refusing to have sex is kind of a coping mechanism. As long as a female isn't seeing me nude, I exude confidence, because I know absolutely nothings going to happen.

I don't know how long my marrige can last like this. It's been 5 years since sex, and my wife doesn't even know anythings wrong yet.

Again, thanks for all your replies.

retr0john

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I am still lonely and missing relationships at times myself. Nothing mean or ill willed about it. 32 years of being alone is just difficult. I have tried to find someone for a bit with not much luck. Anything that can help with the lonliness is welcome in my mind.. but perhaps I am looking at things wrong.

Sorry didn't mean to stir things ups with my comment.

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Randomperson, please don't give up. There's a lot of ladies out there feeling lonely and just looking for a guy. I partied and drank a lot when younger. The first words I spoke to my wife was in church. (I kid you not)

A close friend of mine met his fiance' (spelling?) at a community meal he was helping serve at. She's younger than him and very cute. It must be his personality, it's sure not his looks:rolleyes:.

It seems like when you're actively looking, nothing happens. When you least expect it, oppourtunity hits you.

retr0john

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Thank you both. I apologize my comment was inappropriate. I did not mean for it to sound like it did. I would encourage you not to give up as well.

I struggle with the balance of not giving up yet not being disappointed with lack of any success. It is an inner struggle and sometimes my inabilty to mantain that peace and frustration at myself comes through my words.

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