He left me for someone else

[Bella6]

I'm new here and posted in the new members forum but I wanted to see if I could get more imput on this. I was dating a guy for a few months and I knew he didn't love me but I stayed because I loved him and I thought he just needed time and things would change. Last week he calls me to tell me it's over he's found someone else. How I manage when he's happy with his new "love" and I'm lonely and depressed? I'm just crushed and devistated. Has anyone ever experienced being left for someone else? How do you cope or how would you?

[Solstice]

Hi Bella. I'm sorry you're hurting right now. I haven't ever been left for someone else (yet), but I have gone through (I'm actually going through) being in a relationship with someone who doesn't want to be in the relationship. Like you, I have stayed because I love him, and I keep hoping things will change with time. But they aren't changing, and I doubt that they ever will.

My coping advice to you is probably pretty pathetic, but here it is: be strong and recognize that the pain you are feeling now will fade over time. Spend time with your friends, if you can. Do things that you enjoy, so you're not dwelling on him being happy and you not being happy. In the end -- please believe me because I know -- it's better to be alone then to have a relationship that the other person doesn't want to be in.

Take care of yourself, and believe that things will work out.

[SweetSue]

Hi Bella,

My marriage ended, crumbs nearly 10 years ago now, it was a good marriage, and the main reason we divorced was coz my hubby wanted a family and I couldnt have kids.

It hurt like hell, especially when within a year of our divorce my hubby was engaged to another woman - and she was carrying his child. Yep that hurt - big time. I was happy for him, but at the same time I was as jealous as anything I had ever known. As a rule I dont do jealousy, and this is the only time in my life I can ever say Ive felt that way.

But you know what, maybe it was for the best, coz after a couple of years, I met someone too, and ended up having 4 beautiful babies as a result.

Sometimes things just arent meant to be, yes its hard getting over a true love, but you move on and in time things dont hurt so much.

And as Solice says...... it's better to be alone then to have a relationship that the other person does'nt want to be in.

Take care

[Bella6]

Thanks Soltice & SweetSue. I totally agree it's better to be alone than unhappy in a relationship that's going no where. To some extent it's a relief because it was torture being with someone who showed no compassion, no love, and made me feel worthless. However, that doesn't make it hurt any less and I do feel very alone. I don't have very many friends so it makes it all the more difficult. It's hard to have hope right now it's a daily struggle to "keep my chin up" but thanks again for your messages. It's good to feel that at least someones listening.

[SweetSue]

Hi Bella

You know one thing that did kinda cheer me up a little when I split from my hubby - and that was getting a new hairstyle, new clothes and going out with my friends, and making new ones. I know its hard to even think about doing that kind of stuff when you have just split, but well if your looking your best, you soon start to feel it too

Just a thought.

Im sorry your hurting

Take care

[Tascha]

Hey -

It’s totally fine to give yourself as much time as you need to grieve. Think about all the things that happened throughout the relationship so that you'll only be better for the next time around. Like SweetSue said, introduce new things to your life, go out with your girls, have fun, find new hobbies, punch your fist through the pillow, etc.... And hopefully you’ll be wondering a year or two down the line, “Why the heck was I even hurting over that person?”

Take care x