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There must be something wrong with me or?


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I feel like such a failure, that I cant take a question like an adult without thinking there must be an agenda why he ask that question. Just because of that "is it bad with coffee under menstruation" question I felt completely paranoid he must be asking for another woman or for someone else at least, because I have never been drinking coffee, so why does he wonder that, I am thinking. Cant help myself thinking multiple thoughts does he want to make me insecure? he said it was just a silly question. When he saw me getting upset he said very caring "dont thinking about this, it was just silly question, ok? I said ok.

But as long as he abused me before and now we are divorced and we will remarry, I now feel very vulnerable I guess.

How can I be so sensitive and paranoid for a question like that? could be because I have been treated bad and that he has created lots of insecurity in me.

But still, a question like that shouldnt make anyone be suspicious.

I would like someone to tell me I am paranoid even the earlier abuse.


Because I really dont want to look like a crazy person, because I know I am not. I am just extremely sensitive and insecure and vulnerable.

I said to him ok, maybe I am overreacting, maybe I am too sensitive, and told him my thoughts other woman and so.. , he said no, please dont thinking that, it was just silly question, as a man at work last year had told him it was bad for woman. But I dont drink coffee so why does he bother.

I nearly wanted to cry just because of this. I am thinking its normal to be insecure and vulnerable when you have never could trust anyone, but to be so sensitive for this question, I must be way off, I think so?

Edited by sadgreeneyes
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Hi sadgreeneyes,

Hun, Im sorry, but that is just a crazy question - how else are you going to react, especially considering the abuse he has thrown in your direction in the past :(

What is the thing with Coffee and your menstruation cycle anyways ?

I drink coffee (decaff) most days - it dosnt effect the way my body functions.

Im sorry your feeling insecure and upset. Are you sure you really want to marry this person for a second time ?

Please take care :o

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Oh, thank you Sue, I didnt know how to react, he has asked weird question before too as he doesnt know things about the female anatomy. I told him its crazy what the man at work had said to him. I asked him why he bother, why he ask and he said it just popped up in his head because of this man at work had said this. Its one year ago soon! and now he comes with this question, I really dont know. I just find it weird to ask, and he agreed it was a silly question.

Even more weird is it because this "coffee" question was asked after he had asked if women had menstruation the same time. Who has that, no one has exactly same time. And why does he wonder that!

I can only speculate if he ask because he know I will react in some way, but that I guess is too weird of me to think. It makes me wonder the "why" he ask, if he does it with purpose or if it really just did pop up in his head.

Anyway, asking if women have it the same time has nothing to do with what the man at work said abut the coffee.

I find it very weird to ask these questions.

I said he could ask his sister, no no that he couldnt, it was bad.

I said he could search online if he wanted, but he didnt bother do that as it was just silly question.

I really dont know, I am thinking I should have served him a big lie saying how dangerous it is..and that people can die of it. And see his reaction.

That is what I mean too, I dont drink coffee so why he bother asking about that, it wont ever have anything to do with my menstruation anyway, well I am a coke addict but its not bad to drink coke or coffee during menstruation.

I did read though that its bad with coffein if having lots of pain during menstruation, but again I dont drink coffee so why he care.

Sue, I do love him some way and want to marry him again, but I will say that I will never answer such silly question again and if I do I think I will tell a lie:o

Edited by sadgreeneyes
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Hi Jenna, thanks for replying, no I am not just settling for him, I have feelings for him still, I dont settle just because I have too. I would never do anything I didnt want.

I wonder sometimes is there something mentally with him (beside the abuse he put me through) , something else, I ask myself this because the question "does all women have her week at the same time", he must know they dont have. It did start though with did I have menstruation and I was saying what? not before after I started getting upset by why he ask many things I asked is he counting or???....no he said, I asked because it made me think is he counting when I had my period last time before we divorced, then he went further while I was being confused. Then he started his questions that were never understandable.

When I say is this what he mean or this or this, he say no and change the questions, he didnt "stay" at the questions he asked, he goes further while I answer, its like all the questions gets mixed into each other like a thread with bumps and knots, so I find myself answering 3 different things about it for him and when I ask him is this what he mean he say no and change ending it with the coffee stuff. So he said no when I asked did he mean do women have her period at same dates, maybe he meant every months, I dont know.

It can nearly feel as a mix of him looking curious yet helpless when asking plus fishing for answer in a odd way that feels just weird. Next time if there ever will be one I will never answer weird questions and I will never answer before I get a straight out clear question which is not odd in any way.

Edited by sadgreeneyes
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