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What -Is- Stable


AllOver
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I know this is a weird thing to question, but I really have no clue how to answer this. I've never had normal moods, I was early onset and it's suspected to have been part of my life my whole youth(Though my first truly disastrous point was when I was 12).

I've most certainly have had points where I've done better then the worst points, been generally happy(And not quite manic) and was able to pull myself out of signs of depressed episodes, but is that really what it is?

Mood swings have been so embedded in to my life that I don't think they'll ever truly go away. I don't get ultra highs and ultra lows when I'm doing well, but should I be cycling at all? It's been tough to come to terms with having emotions seeing how they've always been stronger then anyone I've ever known who was not bipolar, and there was a lot of confusion (And still is) from my family who never were quite able to understand just because they were irrational or started for no reason that I did in fact feel the results of those emotions. Heck, even practical emotional reactions seemed to be wrong from them when it came to my emotions(Not theirs of course.).

Should there be a point where I feel stable completely? How do I even know what it would be if I hit it? Should I be an emotionless shell like my peers expect of me? Is it stable if I can manage my feelings or they are reasonable like a death of a loved one?

Any answers would be great, it's very confusing to me. Thanks. :c

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Stable is a place where you keep horses. ;-)

If you've always experienced instability, I'm not sure anyone could actually describe stability to you, any more than I can directly know what your experience is. But the beauty of humanity is that we can empathize even with things we've never experienced ourselves.

So, the first thing I guess I'd suggest is to find some empathic people. If that's not your family, that's okay; keep looking. That's the only way any of us get to outgrow our families: by meeting more people.

There are no people who experience no moods. The definition of bipolar comes in when the moods cause the people significant problems. How much is significant? Well, that depends on the person. Most people aren't suicidally depressed very often. Most people aren't euphoric and completely uninhibited very often. Bipolar people can be both.

But, despite the clear involvement of brain chemistry, bipolar people aren't helpless. The same sorts of therapies that work for other mood disorders do have some success for bipolar people, too. Mood charts help identify what proportion of their experience is mood-related. Meditation, relaxation, and centering exercises can help the person to step out of their mood, at least a little, and maintain greater equilibrium.

Anyway, long lecture with little to back it up. You'll meet people here with more experience than mine. Good luck.

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Is it stable if I can manage my feelings or they are reasonable like a death of a loved one?

Yes.

You might enjoy the work of Tom Wootton, a BP1, who has written Bipolar In Order. He maintains that instead of trying to even out our moods we should increase our ability to deal with them - then we will have Bipolar In Order not Bipolar Disorder. He also wrote Bipolar Advantage, which I haven't read yet, in which he proposes that being Bipolar can be turned into an advantage. A refreshing way to look at it.

Should there be a point where I feel stable completely?
There may be, but perhaps this is not a great thing to strive for. Medication can bring the extremes closer together - which is a form of stable.
Should I be an emotionless shell like my peers expect of me?
No. We're just not like that. We have a larger emotional range than others. I am stable now - and it isn't all it's cracked up to be. I can work and function, but I've lost the richness and the inspiration of mild mania and depression. I longed for stability for years but now that it's here, I miss my emotional range ...
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