DarknessRules Posted October 1, 2011 Report Share Posted October 1, 2011 i dont know how to be a boyfriend. i dont know how to treat a girl... im just clueless... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finding my way Posted October 1, 2011 Report Share Posted October 1, 2011 Can you start with being a friend? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarknessRules Posted October 1, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 1, 2011 thats what i try to do but every time i think i know them well enough to ask them out im stuck in the friend zone or im not there type... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarknessRules Posted October 2, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 2, 2011 so ya i have a lot of female friends sayin someday you will make someone really happy but i have no idea how to even talk to them. im very very shy... so talkin to people is hard as it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest GingerSnap Posted October 3, 2011 Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 Starting as friends is good. If you can find someone with a common interest at all, that can bring you closer not so much an interest that everyone has but something a little more unique that maybe just the two of you would share. If you are shy and the young lady is interested, you should be able to pick up on that. It can take awhile to progress from a friend to something more so you have to be patient. Just sort of take baby steps with a friendship that you would like to be more. And, relax, you'll get there with practice as you gain confidence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarknessRules Posted October 4, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 4, 2011 well. thats really good advice.i thank you for it. both of you. but i dont know of any signs. a friend of mine tried to explain a few of them to me but i still dont get it. i would get them confused with just being friendly. then i would feel really awkward if i acted on ones that didnt exist or miss the ones that do exist and act opon them too late after they figuerd that im not interested. unfortunatly thats how its played out before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest GingerSnap Posted October 5, 2011 Report Share Posted October 5, 2011 From having a son, what I have seen is if the girl is really interested, she will give you hints and if you don't get it (many men - it just goes right over their heads so you are not the only one), they go ahead and make it very clear that they are interested! Seriously, what you need will be a girl that is more aggressive and there are plenty - from a mom with 2 sons and even the one with Down syndrome had to fight them off! Just play it cool. Plenty of girls take interest in guys that are shy. We like the challenge! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarknessRules Posted October 6, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 6, 2011 thanks for that. im still not sure what to do or even how to meet someone. but atleast i know that if i do she will let me know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest GingerSnap Posted October 6, 2011 Report Share Posted October 6, 2011 You know, actually, my older son missed all the hints that were being given to him and when he would tell me about the conversations, etc. I would say, don't you get it, she is interested in you. He would just look confused.:confused: I told my husband "The woman will have to club him in the head and drag him home." Well, eventually he meets a woman that on their first date, shows him the chapel where she wants to get married and basically acts from that moment like "this will happen" and 4 months later, they married and have been together for 8 years. Sure, maybe you aren't looking for marriage or long term commitment but I am sure there are women looking for less than that also. The stories he told were just so amusing that he didn't get the "hint" but I believe what is meant to be does materialize in time. I never did date much as I did not see a purpose in spending time with anyone that did not show future potential. I was one of the "outcast" types, am one of those "outcast" types but am not more than comfortable with that now and am happy with who I am. You'll get there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarknessRules Posted October 6, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 6, 2011 well i am trying to get back into the thought of getting into a relationship or relationships. planning on most not working out. but the reason for me not wanting to be in a relationship till now (and im not sure if i said this here or not) is because of a really bad expirience. at 13 my first love died. she was shot and died in my arms. after that the thought of getting into a relationship was just too painful. just recently i started to feel that i could try giveing love another chance. but its like i have said though. im not sure if i know what to do. i know to look for signs and little hints. though im not entirely sure what they are im also sure that they very from person to person. lots of my friends have told me that i should just be myself but the thing is do to a few issues that i have with myself ive worked really hard to try to be what people want me to be. so currently im trying to figure out just who i am. to give myself another chance so to speak. and try as i might its really hard to do that alone. and my friends as of current are really busy. too busy to help me out in this. i beleve i would have to actualy get into convos and talk to people (which is really hard for me to do) to really learn who i am like what my likes and dislikes are. i know posts with storys like the one above are rather hard to reply to. so like the part about my first love. ive already basicly gotten past that part of my past. though ill always remember that day and i will never forget her i know she would have wanted me to move on. i hope i havent said too much or anything like that. i have a tennency to do that from time to time. thank you for your kind words of encuragement. it really helps me alot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest GingerSnap Posted October 7, 2011 Report Share Posted October 7, 2011 Oh no, you haven't said too much. My gosh have you seen how long my posts can be?:eek: I am sorry for your experience with your first love. I know a lot of really older people and they often hesitate to get into another relationship when one partner dies because they don't want to ever feel that way but the ones that do - magic! The others just sit there and grow old alone. You'll get there you have plenty of time. Figure out who you are and what you are interested in and find someone that shares your interests and see what happens then. I don't remember if I mentioned that my older son was 27 years old when he found his life mate. He worked on getting an education and career and time slipped by. Time does that.Just work on yourself and find out who you are and what makes you happy. Be yourself and that girl will find you and she'll make sure you get the signs! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarknessRules Posted October 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 7, 2011 thats a good thing to. another problem i have is that i dont really know how to make friends... i know the concept. just talk to people. but i dont get to go anywhere or see anyone. and i never know what to say or do. all the friends i have have approched me or i met through other friends. and i dont normaly talk untill about a month after i meet the person. its kinda a hard problem... online its not a problem. face to face i freeze up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest GingerSnap Posted October 7, 2011 Report Share Posted October 7, 2011 What kind of hobbies or interests do you enjoy? Do you belong to any organized groups? What about volunteering just anywhere to get "exposure" to others? This is probably too old-fashioned but what about something like the library, humane society or even a home for the elderly (these people would be less judgmental and they will start conversations). I think if you can get in a situation that you are involved enough in mentally that you can kind of forget your inhibitions. In school, I was shy and so were all my friends. TOO OFTEN, people that are shy are thought to be conceited and you know where that can go. So, I am just thinking that involved in a group or an activity, you could maybe let your guard down and that behavior would spread to all situations. I basing this on my experience and those of my shy friends and what I saw happen since that is the only experience or knowledge that I have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarknessRules Posted October 8, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 8, 2011 i live in a very small community that is basicly just a little town a short drive from a bigger (but still very small) town. the librery and other such places mentioned are in the other town. i cant drive. and there is no bus system. none of the towns here are big enough for one. so getting around without a car is basicly imposable. when i lived in the city i had to leave like 3 years ago i had lots of things i could do. like walk or ride the bus to the librerys and malls and anywhere else i wanted to go. sometimes i would just go explore and that on its own was entertaining and got my mind off such things as depression. i felt i could really be me there. and my only goal in life right now is to get back there someday. but here where i live now all i can really do is sit around the house and watch tv and get on the internet. (i walked around the entire town and nothing here intrests me.) in the old city i lived in there are still so many places i havent been yet and i had been exploring around there for like 4 years. i had made that place my home and i miss it very much. i also have my friends there that i miss very much. they have been very supportive to me. helping me with so many things. i wish so much that i could just go back there. ive never been happy anywhere else. even though i only lived there for 4 years i feel like i grew up there. so basicly the only thing i can tell you that i like is that city. to show how little this town is i explored the entire town including going into every store in a single day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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