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SI!


texasgirl
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I will not start this again! It's been months, why the SI AGAIN ? I can't do this, I will not be this way again! :mad:

Keep fighting the urges not to Si. You are stronger then the Si. Try distracting yourself from it, and talk to someone on the phone or go to a friends house. Go to where people are... I know for me, when there are people around I can't Si.

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Whatever, none of the moderators really want to help here. They just throw you aside.

I wrote this in a moment of confusion after another night of SI. The feelings that you are left with after SI is indescribable, and yet that is no excuse for taking it out on people who are trying to help and be supportive.

The moderators and therapist here I know can only do so much, there is only so much they can do through the Internet.

I apologize for my actions, I need to think before I type.

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I learned how to Cut off the internet.. I always did SI... but in diffrent non permenant ways.... now I have ways to make people wish they didn't make me do that....... understand??? Yes you do.. we cut to hurt someone....... What I do now leaves scars.... so I can tell so and so .. see what You made me do???? Before it was all about me I would hit myslef and have bruises... and they would go away.. wasn't enough for me....

JT

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I feel so badly for you both. I really do. Damn. There is a whole lot of SI happening recently.

I have to comment on what Gabby wrote here even though this thread is mostly about Katie. You may think you are harming others by harming yourself, but it is not actually the case. What is literally happening is that you are harming yourself. And maybe, if the person you are trying to get at has the capacity to feel guilty, they will feel that for a while but probably not for too long (but you have to live with the scars for a very long time). This is not an effective way to get back at someone else. I know you probably know that, but maybe it helps to say it out loud.

Katie, thank you for taking time to recognize our limits - as moderators and as community members. We aren't perfect and neither is the world, but we can support one another and that is a whole lot better than nothing. There isn't here magic; there is chemistry/medications, and talk and faith, and social support, a little empathy and compassion, and if you're lucky, healthy touch (if you have a loving and safe friend nearby who can give you a hug). Over time these things can make a difference even though it doesn't always seem like that is possible.

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