Seclusion?!

[lostINoblivion]

Does anyone ever feel like they just don't want to see anyone? Like they could stay alone at home forever and not go anywhere or do anything?

I have felt like that for a while now. I can spend a whole 4 day weekend, only leaving the house to go work out. I can go through those 4 days only saying a few words and the rest is silence. My pdoc said that was probably pretty normal and not a result of bipolar, but I have heard that some people seclude themselves and once they start medication they seem to come out of their shell more?

Does anyone relate?

[Catmom]

This probably isn't exactly the same thing as what you're talking about but I do know that if I am around other people 24/7, I start craving alone time. I live alone with my dog and two cats so I usually have too much alone time. However, when I stay at my brother's house, which I will do over Christmas, I stay up at least a couple of hours later than anyone else, just to have my "alone time."

So, you being alone over a 4 day weekend doesn't strike me as odd at all.

Just my .02

Catmom

[dorothy]

I know exactly what you mean. Lately, except for those things I'm obligated to do, I've been going nowhere. It's all too exhausting. I don't know about "normal" but I understand the hermit thing. I meant to write more but it seems like an awful lot of effort for tonight (a night, by the way, that I'm sitting at home alone, and I do feel as though, if everything else would stop, I could sit here forever)

I think it's important to spend time alone though, and honestly I might worry more about the person that couldn't be alone for that long.

[lostINoblivion]

Thank you both for your input. Catmom, I will do the same thing when I am around a lot of people. Meaning stay up an extra few hours or get up early to have my alone time. And dorothy I understand what you are saying also.

I will go through periods where I want to be social, and times where I just want to stay alone.

[Proverbs31:28]

I do not have bipolar but I have major depression, anxiety and panic attacks and I have felt exactly as you have described.

There are many weeks when I can go days at a time without speaking to another human being. I have had times when I have not left the house for days or weeks at a time. I simply do not want to be around people. I don't answer the phone or check the mail. It is usually when I am feeling most depressed or most anxious.

I think, honestly, I could avoid the outside world a lot more frequently thant I do except that I have 2 kids and their lives force me into the world. Even then, I often don't connect or speak with people I encounter.

I am not sure if this is normal per se but I do think it is a normal feeling for those dealing with depression or anxiety. I would think that with the nature of bipolar disorder that you feel this way when dealing with the depressive cycles, right?

[lostINoblivion]

Proverbs, I think your right. And I have felt like I might be getting a little depressed which has led to more anxiety, so it makes sense that you say that you deal with this with anxiety and depression. Thank you for your words. Knowing people understand is very comforting.

[paula]

I defonately relate to how you feel!

I have very long periods of time like that!

When I get up in the morning, I like time to myself which I call ME TIME! I'm not to bad really, as there is only me and my son that live in my house. He goes to College through the week Mon/Fri. It's not to bad really as he leaves for college at 8am and I get up about 7.15/30am so it only leaves him under my feet for half hour or so.

I actually attend New Deal x4 a week, which I do my placement training at the CAB (citizens advice bureau, which gives everyone advice on their rights).

I love the peace and quiet where as my son likes music on all the time. He's a D.J (disc jockey) of an evening. I could just sit in the peace and quiet all day & night, & on my own.

There is times though that I get lonely, especially of a night. I mean the evening and not through the night.

This week has been an exception, since the death of a family member has occured. I have been exceptionally low and still am! just got to come on the computer to try and get my mind of it.

[confused12]

lostINoblivion, I too identify with you on this one I don't have bipolar but have the diagnosis of Complex PTSD with depression and anxiety.

I often don't leave the house not even my children can get me out. I spend most weekends inside, it is a mission to get to work and overcome this need to be alone and silent. I often count down the minutes (and feel relieved)until my children and husband go to bed. Just so I can just be alone and in silence for a few hours. Since returning to work full time the need to be 'secluded' (alone) is a constant desire.

Why do you think you need to be secluded? I know I often feel like I am burnt out. Doing to much and not taking time for myself. I also have my brain in a state of hyper vigilance and cluttered with random thoughts. So the alone and silence thing sounds calming but in reality it is not. It's just that the alone time means that I don't have to deal with the cluttered internal thoughts which continually exist and the outside world at the same time.

Hope I make sense.

[lostINoblivion]

It sounds like we all experience the same desires. confused - I feel the exact same way. When I am around people I feel like I have to battle both what happens on the inside, as well as the constant barage of social stimulus and extra internal thoughts that go along with that. Dealing with everything that goes on in my head everyday makes me exhausted to face the world on a daily basis.

Thank you paula and confused for your thoughts. It is quite amazing to know that there are real people that experience the same things that I have faced my whole life. Until now, I have only read in books that these things can do to a person.

[JustTrying]

Me too!!! I would live on an island all by myself and be happy MOST of the time.. sometimes I crave human contact but not much. To go to the store is a chore... Use to be I was sooo paranoid about what people were thinking of me etc.. but I do not care now.. I don't know if that is good or not.. I mean Heck I will wear my PJs to go to the store and I do not care... I have seen other people do it.

I find most people to be judgemental and rude. SO I do not deal with them unless I have to.

My doctor has been trying for years now to get me out of the house. She says Isolation is not good. To please her, I went to the "clubhouse" for a bit, took some classes and even went to outpatient for a while.. she said it would make me feel better.. Just stressed me out...

This talking on the computer is new for me.. I use to read all the time and I still do on many sites.. but the communication is nice.. I talk on a Sober website and this one... and it is nice to talk to people that realte.. Perhaps if I met people in the real world that knew what I was talking about???

But to me it is normal.....

JT

[Proverbs31:28]

So do most of you have times when you want to be social or interact with others? I really don't have a desire to be social. I used to be a social butterfly- could not stand to be alone. Loved the crowds, the movement, the sounds, the conversations. Now, I would rather stay home, not answer the phone and sit in the dark. I do socialize minimally out of necessity. I do go to church (except when anxiety keeps me away), I do go to my kids sporting events (though I try to keep my distance from others), I dread going to the grocery store so I go once every 2 weeks and if I have forgotten something- oh well! I guess I am missing the part that craves human interaction. I have often wondered if this is part of my problem because I was once so very social and now I am as secluded as I can possibly be while still raising 2 young children. I live in the same house (but in a separate living area) as my brother and SIL and I can literally go days to weeks at a time without seeing or speaking to them and it doesn't bother me except thant then I start getting paranoid about what they think etc. Yesterday, I went to a friend's to drop off some stuff for a garage sale she was having and she asked me to stay for a bit. From the moment I got there was looking for an excuse to leave! I just wanted to go back home to my cocoon.

[paula]

I know that feeling all to well Proverbs:3128. Every time I go out I can't wait to get home. Especially when I attend a Doctors Appointment, or any appointment come to that. They just freak me out!

I am actually sat here now, in the kitchen, all alone and in the dark. The only light there is, is on the laptop and the lights on the washer, as I'm waiting for that to finish.

The best part about it is, when my son goes out anywhere and doesn't take his laptop with him, like today, then I can use the laptop anywhere in the house, instead of having to go to the computer room to use the computer.

I can sit for hours by myself just thinking, thinking about anything and everything!

[WinterSky]

Does anyone ever feel like they just don't want to see anyone? Like they could stay alone at home forever and not go anywhere or do anything?

I have felt like that for a while now. I can spend a whole 4 day weekend, only leaving the house to go work out. I can go through those 4 days only saying a few words and the rest is silence. My pdoc said that was probably pretty normal and not a result of bipolar, but I have heard that some people seclude themselves and once they start medication they seem to come out of their shell more?

Does anyone relate?

I can certainly relate. Are you familiar with the Myers Briggs Personality Type Indicator Test? The first time tested I was an ISTJ. Now I am a ESTJ. Yes I am extroverted and gain a lot of energy from people when I actually go out. But when I am alone I prefer it that way. But often times when things get rough and I need support and have no where to turn, I do get lonely. We all need a support system.

[lostINoblivion]

I agree with all of you!! I also have never really posted online -- justtrying--. But when I found this site, I also found a lot of relief in posting my thoughts and communicating with everyone. I think if we found people like this in person, we would probably connect really well. We just would have to get ourselves out of the house! ha!

Proverbs- I have found that I DO have times when I am really social and outgoing, but not as many. I tend to have a big cycle of ups and downs that keep me guessing as to what I will be feeling in a particular week or even day. But yes, there are some times, but those are times when I don't feel exactly like myself-- if that makes sense.

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi LostInoblivion,

Glad you find us helpful. We want you to keep posting. What kind of professional help are you getting for your bipolar and what else can you tell us about yourself? You are more than just a "diagnosis."

Allan

[lostINoblivion]

I am seeing a psychiatrist. I have not been diagnosed yet, he just said what I had sounded like bipolar and that we are trying to find the right mix of meds right now.

[WinterSky]

I am seeing a psychiatrist. I have not been diagnosed yet, he just said what I had sounded like bipolar and that we are trying to find the right mix of meds right now.

Yes I know how that is, getting the meds right. I wish you much luck with that.

[sweetcindylouwho]

I haven't ever used that word before. The word I tend to use is ISOLATE. My best friend calls it "dropping out". Anyway you look at it or label it - it is safety to me.

When I am at work or social situations I find myself being hypervigilant about what I say, do, gesticulate, and how people are responding to me. I often feel like I am doing/saying something wrong and then I end up feeling resentful because I can't just be ME (whoever that is, cuz I haven't figured it out yet) and wish others in the world would accept me for me.

I think that is one of the things I have found so endearing about this website and interaction opportunities in the short time I have been here. I feel safe here like no one is going to judge me and that you all at least sort of understand because you may have had moments, days, weeks, months or years like mine. That is so relieving.

It is reminiscent of when I was actively working a 12 step program years ago. In that "community" I felt like I belonged and was cared about.

As much as I love my church family, and over the last few years I have considered them as much or more close than my biological nuclear family, so many of them are clueless. I have really pulled back and isolated from most of them who I cared about. I have an appt Monday to discuss my bipolar diagnosis of 2 wks with my Pastor. He has been more than just a Pastor over the years I have known him, but honestly this last year I now know he just didn't know what to do with me. I think he will be relieved to know what is going on with me and actively become more educated about it - certainly there are others in the congregation. But knowing Jon, he will see my growth opportunity as a gift ( I actually do as well) that should eventually be shared with others so they may be helped.

I know I have digressed from the original topic somewhat - but Oblivion, I am glad you brought the subject of seclusion up - it certainly hits home with me and I really must own it and be sensitive to it and how it effects me and those I care about.