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Affraid?


leslietod
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:D

Hi!

I guess I'm new to this personality issue.. Anyways I have a huge fear of new situations, creating a routine and ultimately people, I simply do not trust people...

I feel hopeless and useless and all my motivation has gone down the drain.

I can't even go out to buy something to eat and the supermarket is 10 m from my house... I really don't know what to do.

My husband supports me and wants to take me to see a therapist but I'm scared it's like admitting that I have a problem and that I am weak...:confused:

I don't know what to do because people don't understand how I feel and the ones that I tell how I feel simply don't care and end up treating me badly or getting hurt because I feel better in my house, I really don't know what to do...

I'm sorry if this sounds like ramblings but I have a headache and am feeling always very tired...I guess I've given up on myself and need someone to help me...but I'm too scared...

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Hi leslietod,

I don't think it's such a bad thing to admit you have a problem. I know I've got plenty, and so do most of the people I know. And I suspect that those people I know who don't seem to have problems probably do, only I don't know them well enough.

Many people are afraid, and of all different things. Try looking in the Anxiety section of this group for some examples. I myself get very nervous meeting new people, and socialize as little as possible. But there are therapies that help. So the question is, is it enough of a problem for you that you'd be willing to try one of them?

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Hi leslietod,

Have you ever thought that this might not be a personality issue but a kind of characteristic of depression. I was just thinking back to a time early on when I was diagnosed with clinical depression. I felt helpless and hopeless and could trust people because I was feeling so helpless.

I didn't want to go out of the house when I was feeling like this because I was normally the energy around people. I also lost confidence in my own abilities because I felt so bad about myself which also stopping me from venturing out of the house. Home was safe and still is and I can be who I want to be, do what I want to do when I am feeling like crap.

People who have not experienced depression sometimes struggle to understand but it doesn't mean that they wont try to. Sometimes people through their lack of understanding become fearful that they might catch depression and therefore become defensive and even hurtful (along with all the other misconceptions people have).

You are not rambling, I see you are trying to make sense of what is happening in your life and I am understanding you. A therapist will help you better understand what is happening and maybe teach you a few skills to manage the way you think and feel. Hey you have nothing to lose by asking for help. I've never met a perfect person yet so don't label yourself 'weak' maybe you are "wise" because you have worked out you need help. Other people go through life totally miserable because they fail to see they actually do need help.

Take the plunge and try therapy out and see if it helps

Confused12

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:P

Hi!

I guess I'm new to this personality issue.. Anyways I have a huge fear of new situations, creating a routine and ultimately people, I simply do not trust people...

I feel hopeless and useless and all my motivation has gone down the drain.

I can't even go out to buy something to eat and the supermarket is 10 m from my house... I really don't know what to do.

My husband supports me and wants to take me to see a therapist but I'm scared it's like admitting that I have a problem and that I am weak...:confused:

You are not weak! We all have mental health, and when things go wrong, it is our health that needs to be restored. You can be restored to strength.

I don't know what to do because people don't understand how I feel and the ones that I tell how I feel simply don't care and end up treating me badly or getting hurt because I feel better in my house, I really don't know what to do...

When you say "people", who do you mean? I know that when I've had self esteem issues, my self respect goes out the door with it. And I think that when people generally see that I've lost my self respect, then they might think that if I don't respect myself then why should they. Does that make sense? If I don't have confidence in myself, then why should others. That's how I think about me anyways.

But don't let that logic bother you. I was just trying to make a point. You are uniquely you, an individual. You have both strengths and weaknesses. We all have health, and our health can be in a good state or bad, or somewhere in between. Just accept that you need some healing right now.

Perhaps you just need to learn some new coping skills, and also some medication might help with the moods. Do you have a psychiatrist or a therapist yet?

xxx

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Hi leslietod,

Have you ever thought that this might not be a personality issue but a kind of characteristic of depression. I was just thinking back to a time early on when I was diagnosed with clinical depression. I felt helpless and hopeless and could trust people because I was feeling so helpless.

I didn't want to go out of the house when I was feeling like this because I was normally the energy around people. I also lost confidence in my own abilities because I felt so bad about myself which also stopping me from venturing out of the house. Home was safe and still is and I can be who I want to be, do what I want to do when I am feeling like crap.

People who have not experienced depression sometimes struggle to understand but it doesn't mean that they wont try to. Sometimes people through their lack of understanding become fearful that they might catch depression and therefore become defensive and even hurtful (along with all the other misconceptions people have).

You are not rambling, I see you are trying to make sense of what is happening in your life and I am understanding you. A therapist will help you better understand what is happening and maybe teach you a few skills to manage the way you think and feel. Hey you have nothing to lose by asking for help. I've never met a perfect person yet so don't label yourself 'weak' maybe you are "wise" because you have worked out you need help. Other people go through life totally miserable because they fail to see they actually do need help.

Take the plunge and try therapy out and see if it helps

Confused12

Its exactly like Confused said every word...

When I do say people I mean the ones I do tell about my feelings... the ones I "think" I can trust(thought that is).

My husband is the only one who knows about my current state of mind and I am OK with it since I don't talk with anyone else from the outside about it...

I'm still afraid of taking the step, that's why I asked my husband to make an appointment behind my back so I wouldn't manipulate him into not going or have an anxiety attack ...

But these few days have been really hard, it's like these past years I've been ignoring the signs and always kept holding a wall down...

suddenly I wake up and its up and I can't put it down no matter how hard I try...

Another thing that has been happening to me, besides the obvious lack of concentration and the ramblings...is the fact that I can't deal with reality, for example, if my husband tells me something about a problem he has at work, I start crying and run away cause its too overwhelming I just can't deal with it...

I have also been feeling very guilty for not being able to do a single thing besides removing myself from this world...

I really want this to end...

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Hi leslietod,

Hopefully your husband made the appointment and you are going to receive some professional support soon. You do sound like you at your wits end. Have you tried calling a crisis line or even go to your local emergency dept. Even if it take hours for some one to see you at the ER at least you are around people which may keep you grounded. I am not sure, but anything like this is worth a try. Hopefully posting here provides you with a tad of hope. :(

I would like to continue you to encourage yourself to ask for help now, don't wait, maybe don't even think about it. Only you know how unbearable it is for you, be honest and if you think you need someone to help keep yourself safe, say so.

Keep trying leslietod it is worth the effort.

Confused12

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