Relationship Advice (Depression and Anxiety)

[goobertron]

Hi guys,

I haven't been on here for a while, but to cut a long story short, I have been suffering from depression on and off and anxiety (in a harsher way) for quite a while. I was initially prescribed both citalopram and therapy. I decided against the tablets to start off with but after seeing the doctor a few months later I have decided that I need to give them a go. For the record he has prescibed Citalopram. Now I have in the last week or 2 I have found myself, not that it is a bad thing by any means, in the early stages of a relationship. She seems really nice and I am very keen for things to develop but obviously at some stage I am going to have to decide when is the right time to tell her my "problems" and the medication. My mentality is such that I couldn't go forever without telling her and from another forum, though I only found 2 posts on this scenario, the consensus was that it is a fine balance between not telling her too early, or too late in the relationship. Too early and it may scare her off and if you leave it too late, it could be questioned as to why you haven't mentioned it before. As I say she is a lovely girl but I get the impression she can be get very emotionally involved in a relationship and again whilst it isn't a bad thing I don't want her to invest too much emotionally if it is something that is going to give her 2nd thoughts. So when is peoples experiences of the best time to tell someone about depression and medication. I hope that all made sense and I would like your thoughts please

[Lana73]

Hi Goobertron,

Have you been reading my thoughts?

I asked myself the same question many times.

I have a little story to tell you. Couple years ago, I had a dinner date with a guy who told me ....during our dinner..... that he is bipolar and because he went through a huge manic episode, he stopped working, lost his house....etc. I was sitting there and thinking to myself " Is he serious? What the hell?"

I left shocked.... I ended up dating him because I was lonely. So, my point is that of course you would have to tell your girlfriend at some point about your issues, but not too early(so she won't have the same reaction I had , but definitely before you get attached to her. I think you will know when the time is right.

Good luck!

[goobertron]

Many thanks for the advice Lana, really appreciate it and I guess I will have to just feel or make an educated guess as to when the time is right, we have only seen each other 3 times so far so its definitely early days and see how we go, but she is the type of girl I think, as I said above, that gets emotionally involved very quickly so its only fair to tell her earlier rather than later, and as the advice said on the other forum, if she isn't understanding once we know each other then she definitely isn't a "keeper"

[Lana73]

I think it is a great approach! Plus you don't really have serious mental problems. A lot of people suffer from anxiety and depression. I was able to overcome my depression, but anxiety is still there. And like I always tell myself, this does not have to be a life sentence. I used to feel somewhat abnormal until I join this site, which definitely help me better understand and accept myself with all my anxiety and few other issues that I probably should not mention right at this moment.