Ernold Same Posted March 4, 2012 Report Share Posted March 4, 2012 Hello,I've just been granted permission to post anywhere on this forum, and I thought I would start here.I'm not sure if I'm just suffering from SPS or if I indeed have a small penis. It seems pretty small to me. I'm lucky if I can reach 5.5" (14 cm) when I measure it bone-pressed (when you press the ruler against the pubic bone). My girth is about 4.7" (12 cm) which is pretty thin if you ask me.I'm a virgin. I never had a girlfriend. I've only kissed one girl when I was 13 years old. I feel like such a freak and I think that's what's holding me back... but more on that later.Until fairly recently, I remember blaming my small penis for everything. I realize now that I had problems way before worrying over the size of my penis. As far as I can remember, I've always been shy and reserved and I never felt like I was fitting anywhere. The other kids noticed it and treated me differently. Then this small penis thing came out of nowhere and needless to say, it just made things worse.I could write for hours about the whole thing but I'm going to take a shortcut and tell you guys that being a 29 year old virgin is no fun. Like I said earlier, I feel like a freak. I feel like I didn't live what I was supposed to live. I didn't experience what other people did and therefore I wasn't able to grow like my peers.I don't feel like a man. I feel like I'm still a boy... I just didn't develop my masculinity. I don't know if I should go see a prostitute. I don't believe I'm going to be a man if I fuck a woman that I just paid to do it. It's cheating... it's like paying to win a race or something like that. And I'm also scared that she's going to laugh at me.Also, this delay in my personal growth caused me to feel really depressed. I lost all my friends over it. I found comfort in food and became morbidly obese. I spent my 20's alone, depressed, eating in front of a computer screen while I should have been living the most beautiful years of my life. I feel robbed. It's unfair.I recently started working over my weight issue with success. I've lost 44lbs (20 kg) in barely two months with the help of a nutritionist.Besides that, my life is a mess of broken dreams, missed opportunities, and insecurities. I feel like sleeping all day long. Nothing interests me anymore, not even the things I used to enjoy. Everything annoys me. I'm aggressive, cynical, and moody all the time. I hate everything and everyone. I feel like a time-bomb and when I will explode, I might kill someone.I want to go see a psychologist (or psychiatrist) but I feel really embarassed of talking about my small penis with someone, face to face.Alright I'm going to stop there. I think that's enough for a first real post, and probably a lot to digest for its readers.Feel free to comment. Thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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