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What am I supposed to do now?


Ernold Same
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Hello,

I've just been granted permission to post anywhere on this forum, and I thought I would start here.

I'm not sure if I'm just suffering from SPS or if I indeed have a small penis. It seems pretty small to me. I'm lucky if I can reach 5.5" (14 cm) when I measure it bone-pressed (when you press the ruler against the pubic bone). My girth is about 4.7" (12 cm) which is pretty thin if you ask me.

I'm a virgin. I never had a girlfriend. I've only kissed one girl when I was 13 years old. I feel like such a freak and I think that's what's holding me back... but more on that later.

Until fairly recently, I remember blaming my small penis for everything. I realize now that I had problems way before worrying over the size of my penis. As far as I can remember, I've always been shy and reserved and I never felt like I was fitting anywhere. The other kids noticed it and treated me differently. Then this small penis thing came out of nowhere and needless to say, it just made things worse.

I could write for hours about the whole thing but I'm going to take a shortcut and tell you guys that being a 29 year old virgin is no fun. Like I said earlier, I feel like a freak. I feel like I didn't live what I was supposed to live. I didn't experience what other people did and therefore I wasn't able to grow like my peers.

I don't feel like a man. I feel like I'm still a boy... I just didn't develop my masculinity. I don't know if I should go see a prostitute. I don't believe I'm going to be a man if I fuck a woman that I just paid to do it. It's cheating... it's like paying to win a race or something like that. And I'm also scared that she's going to laugh at me.

Also, this delay in my personal growth caused me to feel really depressed. I lost all my friends over it. I found comfort in food and became morbidly obese. I spent my 20's alone, depressed, eating in front of a computer screen while I should have been living the most beautiful years of my life. I feel robbed. It's unfair.

I recently started working over my weight issue with success. I've lost 44lbs (20 kg) in barely two months with the help of a nutritionist.

Besides that, my life is a mess of broken dreams, missed opportunities, and insecurities. I feel like sleeping all day long. Nothing interests me anymore, not even the things I used to enjoy. Everything annoys me. I'm aggressive, cynical, and moody all the time. I hate everything and everyone. I feel like a time-bomb and when I will explode, I might kill someone.

I want to go see a psychologist (or psychiatrist) but I feel really embarassed of talking about my small penis with someone, face to face.

Alright I'm going to stop there. I think that's enough for a first real post, and probably a lot to digest for its readers.

Feel free to comment. Thank you.

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Sorry for your bad luck, some of us just get rotten cards from the start and its impossible to play the game of life. As for losing your virginity to a prostitute it’s a hard thing to recommend to someone. I’ve lost my virginity to a escort when I was 28 so 3 years ago, for me personally it was a very pleasant experience and I would do it again in fact I only have sex with escorts up to this point. The thing that makes it possible is I tell them about my small penis before hand and they are like “we don’t care bleh bleh” but it makes it so much easier for me, also I know they only care about money and not my performance in bed witch helps tremendously. I’m also so ashamed of my small penis that I cant get a erection in front of women no matter what so I have to take a Viagra, keep that in mind if that the route you decide since you don’t want to waste $200 for the hour and not be able to perform.

Some people are happy with the escort route some regret it a lot, so its very individual. I’m not a religious person and I don’t care about saving myself for the “one” so for me it wasn’t a problem. I just wanted to enjoy sex, I’m not proud of seeing a escort and would much rather prefer finding someone I love to share this intimate act with but I knew that would never happen. If you feel there is chance you still might find someone special then wait, I was at my end and I had to know what it feels like to be physically intimate with a women or I was going to kill myself.

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Thanks for sharing Wastedlife.

I feel the same. I mean... I'm ugly, stupid, broke, and I have a small penis. I'm starting to think that there's a sick joke behind the meaning of my existence on earth, except I'm not laughing.

I think my purpose is to serve as a point of comparison for people (mostly men) who have it good to realize that, well, they have it good. I'm just a reminder of what a fucked up, useless, and waste of a life can look like.

All I can do is being fair and play my part.

But I fucking hate that. I think about suicide all the time but I just can't die a virgin, can I?

I'll try an escort but it really pisses me off. This isn't a life.

I could have been someone great. I could have been a good husband and father, but by giving me a small penis, God or whatever decided to curse me. I must have done something terrible in a past life to deserve this. I didn't deserve this. I used to be someone funny, nice, and interesting.

I hate my life.

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Yeah that’s just life someone has to lose so someone else can win, I just tell myself there is some other guy out there who has big penis, interesting personality, educated and has very healthy sex life. He simply won the coin flip at birth.

No dying a virgin would suck, that was one of my bigger worries. So if you are going to see a escort make sure you see a high end escort for your first time ($180H+min), one who preferably has good reviews online (this is very important). Explain your situation and see what she says, some are cut out for this while others don’t like seeing virgins (this is not who you want for your first time).

I felt much better after having sex for the first time, like a weight has been lifted from my chest. I very much hope you feel the same.

P.S Its very addictive and expansive (good luck)

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5.5 is a good size, you got me beat by 1.5 inches. No girl has ever commented on me being small, so I doubt your size will matter at all to any female. You would look like a monster compared to mine. I don't know about your other issues though -- your height, looks, money situation. At 5'5", at least I'm short so my 4" erect penis doesn't look so out of place, even though it is barely "low normal". My life is a total waste too. I hate being short and ugly with a small penis. Nothing has really gone right for me, so you're not alone there.

Edited by toulouse_lautrec
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Hi Toulouse.

I don't know if 5.5" is a good size. I don't think it is. I believe that below 6.5" x 5", we're pretty much all on the same boat, the small boat that is.

Anyway, I'm 6' tall. That's also a major disappointment in my life because until last fall I used to think I was 6' 2" tall. I was at some point but I got shorter. Probably because of all the weight I've been carrying around for the past 10 years. Gravity is a bitch!

I'm fat now but it wasn't always the case. When I was fit, I was pretty handsome, not a model mind you, but a few girls hitted on me. Now they won't even look at me.

It was hard to push these girls away because I was too embarassed by my penis.

I'm still losing weight. They say your penis will look bigger once you drop the weight. I doubt it. My penis looks just as small now that I'm fat than back then when I was fit. I don't think it's going to look bigger when I'll be fit again. Oh well.... it's still worth a shot.

Like I said earlier, I feel like such a waste. I could have been someone great except for that small penis thing. When I'm laid in my bed at night, I can spend hours imagining what my life could have looked like if my penis was slightly bigger. I would be an entire different person. I could be married and have kids by now. I would have had more confidence in myself and my projects.

Life is so unfair.

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No way, 6.5 vs 5.5 is nothing. The average sized erect penis is 5.3 to 5.7, so being 5.5 doesn't matter at all. Only if you're below the 5.3 to 5.7 median will there be any noticable problem. For example, you're average/slightly slightly above average wanting to be above average. I'm below average wanting to be average.

Seriously... 5.5 is solid. Not big, not small. No one will notice.

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Hi Toulouse.

I don't know if 5.5" is a good size. I don't think it is. I believe that below 6.5" x 5", we're pretty much all on the same boat, the small boat that is.

Anyway, I'm 6' tall. That's also a major disappointment in my life because until last fall I used to think I was 6' 2" tall. I was at some point but I got shorter. Probably because of all the weight I've been carrying around for the past 10 years. Gravity is a bitch!

I'm fat now but it wasn't always the case. When I was fit, I was pretty handsome, not a model mind you, but a few girls hitted on me. Now they won't even look at me.

It was hard to push these girls away because I was too embarassed by my penis.

I'm still losing weight. They say your penis will look bigger once you drop the weight. I doubt it. My penis looks just as small now that I'm fat than back then when I was fit. I don't think it's going to look bigger when I'll be fit again. Oh well.... it's still worth a shot.

Like I said earlier, I feel like such a waste. I could have been someone great except for that small penis thing. When I'm laid in my bed at night, I can spend hours imagining what my life could have looked like if my penis was slightly bigger. I would be an entire different person. I could be married and have kids by now. I would have had more confidence in myself and my projects.

Life is so unfair.

I think what you have is truly small penis syndrome, more of a mental problem. I have more of a physical problem. My small penis really exists, but in your mind you have a small penis. No offense, I know you have other problems too, but a small penis is not one of them.

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Guys, why would you pay for something that you can get for a lot less simply by arranging a date with a lady who isn't familiar with our predicament and let things progress to the point where intimacy is the end resort? Nearly all women appreciate not having to foot the bill and since most of us aren't really looking for a permanent relationship, why not just take the leap? Once you give it a try, you'll be surprised how many gals are out there who won't be concerned and even if you draw one that is, you just move on to the next.

I went from one who insisted it didn't matter, but who had the need to mention it reveal times a week and eventually was caught cheating, back to the single life and can say, I don't miss anything I had with her.:D

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4.7 girth is average and your length is average. Take this from a guy with a worthless girth of 4 inches. I recommend the escort route as well. Am 28 now, lost my virginity at 24 to an escort and that is the only type of girl I have been with as well. If you see an escort, do your research thoroughly. I prefer seeing ones that have email addresses as that is an easy and impersonal way to break the ice.

Notdoneyet is probably giving the best advice in here. I would recommend seeing an escort a couple times and getting your dick wet and then trying to do what Notdoneyet is saying. That is the road I am on as well. Just need to see an escort a couple more times to get used to it again so the nervousness can subside. As you are average in size, women will not be surprised when you bust your shit out. You stated earlier that you either are or think you are not attractive. As I am someone who is fit and good looking, I will tell you that penis size is far more important than either of those two things. My situation is shit. Women generally don't care about looks as much as we do. There is a book you should check out called the Mystery Technique. It has some good solid advice and techniques for approaching and getting attractive women. You can probably download a torrent of it.

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Thanks for your comments, guys.

I guess I'm gonna have to go the escort way as well, even though I'm gonna have to settle for a second or third class one (they're expensive).

On another forum, a woman recommended me to go see prostitutes too. She said that it could help me become more confident around women and then move on to, um, regular women.

Recluse, it's funny you say good looks don't matter because I hear a lot of women saying that it really does!

I called a psychologist yesterday. I'm supposed to meet her on Friday. It's the first time I'm going to consult a professional. She's not a sexologist but offers interviews revolving around sex life. We'll see what she has to say about my situation.

One last thing. I don't feel like my penis is average, sorry. Like I said, it's barely 5.5" long and BONE-PRESSED! None bone-pressed I'm like 4.5" or something like that. Nothing impressive, really. It's short and thin. I wouldn't care about my length if I happened to be thick, unfortunately it's not the case.

Ah, my God... what a shitty life.

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Ernold, I hope you can respect and accept yourself.

I'm a woman and penis size is a complete non-issue for me. It's all about a man's heart and mind.

Often times it's how we react and respond that causes our difficulties. What can you do to better accept the person you are? I wish you well in counseling and hope you feel better.

Take care.

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IrmaJean is proof positive that there are women who will look at the complete picture rather than to search out flaws on prospective SO's.

However, given my present views, I doubt she would find a guy like me attractive in any way.

But there's no reason for others not to be hopeful.:cool:

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