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Diaries of a Dog and a Cat


WinterSky
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Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......

8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favourite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk & bones! My favourite thing!

6:00 pm - Oooh, Bath . Bummer.

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!

cat.jpg

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary. ..

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now............

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hi Wintersky

This is my cats diary: My names TIGGER by the way!

06.30am:I hear mi lady getting up, what should I do? Getup myself and welcome her or leave it for now, I can't be bothered?

06.35am: Hear she comes, the first thing she'll do is, come over here and start stroking me, when I just want to be left alone! Never the less, will have a good stretch and purrrrrrr around her legs, to feed me.

07.00am: Actually fed me after waiting and waiting! What does a cat have to do around here to get fed? I jumped on the top while she was making her drink, even talked to her but the daft cow can't understand me? Glad she can't sometimes, otherwise I'd be out on mi eyelashes!

07.10am: Ahhhhh, thats better! full belly and now ready for a stroke on her knee to get a bit more sleep before I'm tossed off and told to get out to do cats business! Cheek! How would she like being shoved out in the freezing cold?

07.30am: Climb on the windowsill to be let in. Done my rounds! No preditors been around, so may as well settle back in the warmth.

17.30pm: Had a nice catnap on my cussion on my windowsill. Here she come, disturbing me to close the blinds!

17.45pm: Must go and say hello to aunt fanny (wee) and check who's been on my terotary!

18.30pm: Time to go back in and get some grub

18.45/22.00pm: In & out, just to check my domain

22.15pm: Will settle down for the night, till mi lady stirs in the morning

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  • 3 weeks later...

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......

8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favourite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk & bones! My favourite thing!

6:00 pm - Oooh, Bath . Bummer.

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary. ..

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now............

ROFLMBO lololol :D that was funny. Personally I do not like cats. They stink and shed all over the house. I really do not like dogs neither but my other half demands her so I have learned to live with her now that she pottys outside thank god lol :D cheers that was funny thanks for the laugh! :)

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

Hi...I am new to this site. I love what you wrote! :) I have a cat named Petre (story behind the name) and a dog named Tessy. I can't imagine life without them. I can though "imagine" a night sleep with out my cat. Note the word "imagine" which means my Petre seems to want me to play all night. He sits on my head and licks my nose until I wake up. ha ha Gotta love him! I think he is confused as to what he is. He acts like a dog at times. He fetches, plays tag, does tricks...... He is a joy. We rescued him when he was under a pound. He is a blessing. Tessy is more layed back. She is much older. Just enjoying life as it comes.

Thanks for a fun place to come. :)

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