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Cannot get this shit outta my head - feeling suicidal!


confusedboy16
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I' m a total lost soul! I am feeling so down and suicidal at the moment! All down to this whole music thing. Before late music was my life, I breathed it! But now I've got all this shit in my head, I cannot focus. My mind is telling me all music is bad - I cannot work out what's OCD and what's my opinons, because I've always been very stubborn when it comes to music! I want to be able to enjoy all music, but I can't!

I am feeling incredibly shit, I'm questioning everything I stand for, my beliefs, my personality...

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You can't enjoy all music at the same time. Maybe give yourself a break for a bit and focus on what music you really want to be into right now. Your mind is telling you all music is bad, but it's also telling you you must enjoy all kinds of music. You get to choose which side to listen to.

Music used to be your life. That kind of thing doesn't change over night. Therefore the thoughts telling you it is bad are the OCD and the former are your opinions. OK maybe that is too simplistic but it's a start. You're the only one who really knows what's going on between your ears. If you use your intuition though you can clearly see, or if not then decide, what's "you."

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Im sorry you are feeling suicidal:(Yes OCD can make you unsure in what you really think or in what you belive.I understand you feel a lot anxiety and confusion now,but try to calm down.I felt like you many times. Things will go into their place and you will find what you really like and what is from OCD.:)

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  • 3 weeks later...

Do you have anyone you can talk to like a social worker or psychologist? It sounds like you are really confused right now. Sometimes we can't see things clearly when we are upset or depressed. It can be really helpful to talk to a mental health professional because they can help you sort everything out and help you get clarity about your feelings.

Is there anything else you enjoy doing other than listening to music? Is there some kind of activity (exercise, sports, movies, reading....) you could do that would take your mind off of music for a little while? Maybe if you could just forget about music for an hour or two your mind could get some rest and then you wouldn't quite as bad as you do right now.

Hang in there, things will get better.

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