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New abstinence


BlueAbaloneDog
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I am on day 5 of food abstinence. I am having such a hard time b/c my family are really puttting their expectations on me and I feel pretty lousy. My bf and my daughter have both walked out on me mad, and I can't tell whether it is me or they who are unreasonable.

I feel like, couldn't everyone just leave me alone and let me relax? I want to eat so bad.

You're supposed to put your recovery first. Thats all I'm trying to do. I don't want to be around a bunch of people. Eating. Or anything.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Day 15 of food abstinence...that's no sugar, no flour, turning my food overr to a sponsor and following that plan every day.

I feel so empty. The hard part, I thought, was supposed to have been past, but now the physical is getting a little better, the mental is getting worse. But I guess it would be just as bad or worse if I had my face in the food.

This is the stuff I never hear them talk about in OA--the hurting part of recovery.

Maybe I will go back on meds. Between an alcoholic father and a long line of depressed women on mom's side, maybe I just have a bum brain chemistry.

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But Blue, is "food abstinence" really the right description for what you're doing, though? You're not abstaining from food, right; you're abstaining from binging?

It seems like there's a tendency for you to label yourself as bad, which of course is part of the "mental" battle you still have to fight. Behaviors may be bad, but you can change behaviors. You, underneath it all, are still you, either way.

So, if it comes to using meds (for a while), why label it as bum chemistry, as if that's a permanent feature of you, some kind of failure that you'll never overcome? Why not just, "This is a battle I want to win, so I'm going to use whatever tools get the job done"?

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  • 6 months later...

Hi. A quarter past the opposite end of the year from the last post.

Malign, how do you think of this stuff? Do you just come out with it, or do you have to really try and figure out replies.

Seems like you genuinely care and like to help people.

Yes, that was abstinence from binging, not eating, but "food abstinence" is the equivalent term to an alcoholic's "sobriety." I lost that food abstinence soon after the last post, and have tried repeatedly to disentangle from the compulsive eating, without success. I have been binging for the past week and a half and the food has stopped working. I have painted myself into a corner where there is no hope and no help. I came on here to find some mental relief.

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