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I couldnt sustain a Erection and now it has made me feel so embarrased


Concerned1

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Posted

Hey guys, an old user here and i need some help.

I'm a young lad (18) years old and have been seeing this girl for some time now, i love her a lot and she loves me back, we have great times together and do very passionate things, but today hit me hard.

I've never fully seemed to get an erection with her, we were about to have intercourse and i COULDNT become hard enough.

As you can think, this was utterly embarrasing for me, i couldnt do anything and i had this raw passion between us and just nothing.

We had tons of foreplay, about an hours worth and all that time i couldnt become fully hard.

I used a condom, regardless of it on or off i couldnt do it.

I wanted to know is Viagra a suitable choice, i know it was me being nervous and shy that caused me not to be able to but i can get proper hard just fine from Porn/etc.

Any advice would be grateful, she doesnt mind what happened and told me not to worry but you know how angry something like this can make you.

Thank you!

Posted

Are you physically attracted to her? Be completely honest.

Do you have these problems with masturbation?

Have you masturbated a lot lately?

If you're attracted and you haven't masturbated a whole lot lately it's probably nerves. With practice I think you'll relax. It's good that she's understanding.

Posted

I stopped masturbating about 2 weeks ago, yes i am VERY attracted to her, like MADLY, and emotionally too i feel we get along so well, i love absoloutely every single bit of her.

I was extremely nervous aswell, that probably contributed, but i was so damn shy, i'm a very shy person/

I stopped watching porn 2 weeks ago aswell.

Posted

Yeah, you're gonna have to relax I think. Probably will take time. Can you cuddle more or something to work your way up.

I'm pretty inexperienced but I almost have the opposite problem, I get an erection even at cuddling, which is fine most of the time I guess.

Posted

I hope you can be gentle with yourself, Concerned. Try not to pressure yourself about anything. Maybe it would help to think about how you feel about her and how you want to express that. Or you might try a different time of day, such as the morning, if that's possible. Less fatigue and stress maybe and perhaps you'd be better rested earlier in the day too. Just a thought. Try to relax and let things happen. Take care, Concerned. I wish you well.

Posted
I hope you can be gentle with yourself, Concerned. Try not to pressure yourself about anything. Maybe it would help to think about how you feel about her and how you want to express that. Or you might try a different time of day, such as the morning, if that's possible. Less fatigue and stress maybe and perhaps you'd be better rested earlier in the day too. Just a thought. Try to relax and let things happen. Take care, Concerned. I wish you well.

Dunno why it's dug into me so much, i just feel so pathetic :.

Posted

I'm sorry you feel that way. :( I understand this is sensitive for you.

i am VERY attracted to her' date=' like MADLY, and emotionally too i feel we get along so well, i love absoloutely every single bit of her.[/quote']

How wonderful for both of you. :) Maybe it would help to not focus on this so much, if you can. Take her out, have some fun, enjoy one another and see what develops.

Take gentle care, Concerned.

Posted

I know, i know it's silly, but i've been suffering from depression for a while lately so this hit me harder than anything.

I'll try not to, but i find myself just getting angry at myself all the time now.

Posted

No one is judging you and I hope you will not judge yourself. It's important to listen to your feelings. I'm sorry this upset you so much. Are you talking with anyone about your depression? A lot of negative self-talk falls in the range of cognitive distortions. There are ways to change your thought patterns. Would it help to express more about your feelings of anger toward yourself? We are here to support you.

Posted

I lost my job recently and that didnt help, plus i hate living in this household and being my age, i really want to break free but i cant.

I was very depressed before i met this girl, and it has been going so good, but this one little thing is eating away at me badly.

I dont know, it really just scares me now.

Posted

I lost my job recently and that didnt help, plus i hate living in this household and being my age, i really want to break free but i cant.

I was very depressed before i met this girl, and it has been going so good, but this one little thing is eating away at me badly.

I dont know, it really just scares me now. I've been considering suicide before i met her (It was that bad) but i refuse to see anyone because i am too proud.

Posted

Seeing a counselor can be frightening and uncomfortable at first I understand. I think of it as self-care. We all need extra support from time to time and reaching out for help is one way to take care of ourselves during difficult times. The therapist is every bit as human as you are too. Do you talk with your girlfriend about your feelings and concerns? I hope she is supportive. Losing your job can be a major life stressor. It's happened in my family as well and this is never easy. I'm sorry that happened. I hope talking about your feelings helps some. Have a good day, Concerned.

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