goldenduck Posted May 7, 2012 Report Share Posted May 7, 2012 (edited) This might sound like the question a paranoid person would ask but I believe this question isn't anything to do with paranoia, it's real. I have relationship problems, even friends and that I'm having therapy for. My therapist is the person I have been most emotionally intimate with. But outside that, most relationships I've had have been pretty poor and I don't think even my therapist can offer an explanation that can convince me.Thinking back over my life I can only think of a couple of relationships that haven't gone horribly wrong. Anyone that I thought was my friend has deserted or betrayed me. Even my therapist said that seems to be a recurring theme.When I got a new job I didn't know anyone and I felt alone because I just hadn't built those connections up yet. Yet when I did manage to sit by someone who I had met before I would be talking to them for a few minutes then suddenly:"I've been told to sit over there.""I'm going to move seats because that girl opposite me, smells.""I'm going to leave you now so I can go and talk to those girls."Then I go back to sitting on my own not knowing what went wrong. A guy at college who I thought was my friend, we didn't see each other for a couple of months and then I saw him on MSN Messenger. I tried to start a conversation and after a minute he went offline, I found out later that my 'paranoid' idea that he blocked me was what happened.Then there's a couple of people at work I thought I was friends with. I though so since I talked to them on most days but when work ended they suddenly made a very fast pace towards the door without waiting for me.It's just a similar experience throughout my life. The only person who I kind of think was a long time friend was the guy who blocked me on MSN. We ended up being together again through fluke (that's how i ended up finding out he blocked me when he signed in). At some point I told him exactly what I'm writing here and we stayed friends for a long time. Our friendship did end but at least I feel it was for a reason and that was his friends didn't like me, they detested me and it became very hard to spend any time with him.I'm writing this because the friend I thought I had always seems very eager to shoot off somewhere whenever I talk to them, and I'm pretty sure they've set me so they 'Appear off line' to me on Facebook.I guess the only clue that might help is my personality. I'm quiet because I feel nervous around people I don't know; I don't give much away about myself because I have quite strong shame issues. I guess the obvious answer might be that since I have these flaws that set me apart from other people then that must be it but if I do try to open up to some people they still don't seem to want to be friends.I've had this question in my mind for at long as I can remember, I'm starting with this thread to find some answers. Edited May 7, 2012 by goldenduck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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