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Constantly i feel that i need to change my life radically. Nothing in my life bothers me, nothing at all. It's about me, my mind is bothering me. As a matter of fact i want so badly my relationship to work, i wan't to stay together with my husband always. We don't have no problems and everything is ok with him. He accept me as far as i keep myself in controle.

That's my problem. I have so hard time to do that, i feel like i'm destroying myself by doing that, trying so hard. I can hardly take it.. I feel so confused. I can meet psychiater only in 1 month, got to wait up to that + it will surely take time to find out what exactly is going on with me. But i need that now before i.. I'm wondering if emergency help could be an option.

I think it's better to be a victim of depression (or what ever it is) than to destroy something like this.. (i mean my life together with this person)

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