Cherribomb Posted May 14, 2012 Report Share Posted May 14, 2012 I have moderate to severe depression. No, a doctor didn't tell me this, I've simply done a lot of research. I can't afford a doctor or insurance, I'm currently trying to find a job after quitting and moving away from my old one. Needless to say, any form of depression does not help this unemployment issue...Even if I did have a doctor to prescribe me an antidepressant, I don't think it would help me as much as make things worse. Apart from the side effects, I have a severe mental disposition against man made chemicals messing with my brain.. I would likely feel a strong loss of identity and also a sort of helplessness that comes from relying on something so crazy as pharmaceutical brain meds..I am considering giving St. John's Wort a try, as a natural boost. I am also trying to exercise regularly.Currently, after a huge breakdown yesterday, I've awoken at 3-4am and couldn't let myself lay there thinking very awful thoughts... so to my usual distraction - the internet. [things to learn, kittens, games]. Trying to not wake my partner, he doesn't need to be bothered by me any more than he already is. My insane lows like I had yesterday stress him out, and he doesn't deserve to deal with that..I really just... need someone to talk to.. but I don't feel like troubling my friends and family with my 'poor me' bullshit.. I need attention, but can't get past thinking I don't deserve it, and can't actually seek it.. I need some confidence to get a job, but I'm too busy [not on purpose ofc] thinking that I'm a failure and won't get one anyways.. On and on, I feel stuck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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