Sexual impulses

[Justagirl]

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[IrmaJean]

Hello, and welcome to the community.

I hear that this is upsetting for you. It must have been confusing for you as a young girl being taught a lot about sex. I'm sorry that happened to you.

Sexual feelings and desires and feeling aroused are all very normal things to experience. Sometimes fantasies can increase during arousal and this is normal too. Having such thoughts does not make you a bad person. Sex is a basic human need. It can also be an expression of love in a relationship when there are mutual caring and respectful feelings between partners.

And i started to feel disgusted with myself, i cried all night, and i felt like i was dying... The idea of showing myself to a stranger, and i didnt even knew is name or age, it just killed me inside. And even worst, he couldve filmed, and showed to his friends, or put on the internet...

This sounds very distressful and frightening for you. I understand your concern. I hope you can be gentle and compassionate with yourself about this.

I'm sorry to hear about the breakup with your boyfriend. I'm wondering how are the other relationships in your life? Do you have friends who you socialize with? Other interests or hobbies?

Take care, and feel free to keep expressing yourself, if it is helpful.

[Justagirl]

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[IrmaJean]

Hello again. Is everything okay? I'm sorry no one responded to your post.

How are you feeling today?

[Cece.dedesl]

I think some of us tend to get desensitized when we use external stimulation for pleasure and we have to keep upping the ante to experience that "high" associated with sexual arousal.

From what you've described, it seems you have to keep pushing on to more risky things so you can feel that "high". The past experiences that has given you that euphoria have become dull.

My best suggestion is to work yourself back down. Stop watching porn, stop the video chats, stay away from any possible sexual interactions until you can feel arousal and achieve pleasure without the need for external sources.

There is nothing wrong with fantasies as long as you control them and they don't control you. You have nothing to feel guilty about. You certainly haven't explored anything a couple of other million people have explored. You have however, crossed your personal threshold.