Jump to content
Mental Support Community

Stuck with my life


Recommended Posts

First of, I'd like to say hello to all of you =) I'm 18 years old.

This is actually the first time I seek for help but I guess I need to start somewhere.

There's this weird issue with me, being completely stuck in my life.

So, I'm gonna try to describe it from the beginning.

Since I was in elementary school everyone disliked me, I had a lot of trouble socializing with others and it wasn't really successful. I experienced quite a lot of bullying. Same thing for secondary school, I actually managed to "fix" myself a BIT up in the last years tho. Now I'm in technical college, third year, and I feel like all that experience had made a major impact on my personality. I'm awfully unconfident. But I have a few friends now.

I'm easly stressed and I can't even think when under. I actually managed to get into somekind of "feedback loop", got some trouble at school because something has happend to me which I can't even explain at all. I suddenly started to fail quite a lot, which causes a lot of stress to me. And that stress makes the whole thing harder for me, so I just look out for some entertainment instead in order to forget about it for a while which made me extremly lazy. I tend to postpone everything, causing a lot of stress at school, here it loops back. I don't even know if I'm just looking for excuses now, but I really ran out of ideas :(

I was talking about lack of confidence.

There's another big issue with me: I'm kind of antisocial. I'm extremy shy, even got to the point where I can't even imagine myself looking for new friends or a girlfriend. I know this is quite common issue. I'm very pesimistic about this, I often imagine myself ending up alone. I'm not very attractive, my personality isn't that great either, neither is my inteligence. I'm having a crush on somebody for over three years now (I'm not even sure if it managed to transform into love at some point, I feel like so). I just can't stop thinking about that particular person. I don't have any contact with her now, at all. Everytime I think about the dreams I had before or about how long I felt this pain I feel ridiculously nostalgic followed by a river of pesimistic thoughts about ending alone, even suicidal ones which happen quite often. I'm extremly sensitive, sometimes I can easly imagine what other people feel even when it comes to stupid things like not doing them a little favor they asked for. I barely get out of home but I really like to go for a walk with a pair of headphones on in the evening.

I do have a hobby, even a few. I compose music, I even managed to get quite a few listeners.

I also like to program, even managed to get somekind of a job, which I'm really proud of.

But this isn't engough to make me happy, I want to be able to overcome the stress and the lazyness, the lack of confidence and most importantly: I want to forget about her.

I think I covered mostly everything and I REALLY hope you guys can give me some advice, thank you a lot in advance!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Welcome to our community, Vibrantwave. :)

I'm sorry you are feeling upset. :( I struggled a lot for much of my life with social anxiety and also had trouble making friends. Things can get better. They are so much better for me now. I'm also a very sensitive person and I enjoy this quality in others. I know it can be hard at times. You compose music? That is a wonderful way to express yourself and your sensitivity.

I like your screen name. I wonder what parts of you are vibrant? Can you give energy to those parts?

I wanted to say hi. Take care.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Create New...