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Agony: my daughter is doing opiates.


BlueAbaloneDog
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She's 22 and shes not having fun. She seems to be falling apart. I don't know why I'm surprised but I am. She's not just "doing," she is wrestling with a habit. I don't think she's doing heroin. {[ [ yet ] ]}

The agony is that I raised her and her brother in a heroin addiction, and I look at her two little ones, a little toddler girl and a baby boy, and keep reliving all that pain. And the agony is knowing she's so ill-equipped mentally and emotionally to lead a healthy productive life, and watching her stubbornly try nevertheless, banging her head against the wall. I couldn't teach what I didn't know. What I still don't know. I have been off drugs for 6 years and I have accomplished some things, but in some ways I am actually worse now!

It's funny, I have really nothing to say to her about it. I act like I don't see, and she tries to hide it, which means generally avoiding me, because she knows I can see. What can I say? "Get help?" hahahaha inadequate! insignificant, in the face of an addiction. She is nowhere near getting help. She got honest with me about a month ago about what was going on, nearly cried about the small fortune she's spent on it, then, as the conversation wrapped up, she forcefully insisted that she's "fine. Don't worry about me Mom, I'm fine."

I am driven to despair.

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This must be so heartwrenching for you, Blue. :( It's always so hard to see a loved one struggling and in pain, especially when we are limited in what we can do to help. I'm sorry you're going through this. :( I hope your daughter is one day ready to get help and heal. I also hope you will continue to reach out and express yourself.

Take care.

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