fear and guilt ? needed help

[rambo]

i am addicted to masturbation and watching porn ?

[malign]

John, you left out quite a few things that might be important. One would be your age, because it would tell us what your options are for helping yourself, or whether, for instance, you still need your parents' help to get help.

The other is how exactly you know you have OCD. Have you been formally diagnosed? Are you in treatment for it? Is treatment for it a possibility?

Have you talked to your aunt at all? Does she know that you do some things out of compulsion? If your family is aware of your problems, either by having been told or by having guessed, it's quite possible that she is simply tolerating your behavior because she knows you can't help it.

I think the only useful product of the guilt is that it tells you that there's something wrong and you need to try to fix it, preferably by seeing a professional who can help you with the OCD. What do you think?

[rambo]

thanks for reply . ya i was diagnosed with OCD by a psychiatrist . But my OCD include handwashing , IBS related problems , always away from dust etc.

the problem is that i find masturbation pleasurable .I dont know whether it is due to OCD or not ? i cant talk this with anyone this is very immoral act.Moreover she dosent know about my OCD. i am 20 years old btw .

[infrared_radiation]

It's actually quite normal to masturbate and watch porn... probably most males who have an internet connection do it...

[malign]

Well, most people with a pulse find masturbation pleasurable.

The question, and possibly it's a question for your doctor, is whether you're compulsive about it.

I doubt that anything that I might say about morality would be useful (why would you care about my morality?), but you can see that it's a complicating factor here. If you see masturbation as immoral, I assume that you would want to stop, and it's possible that in order to stop (or cut down), you'll need to tell someone.

It's not uncommon for compulsive behavior to switch to new routines, for rituals to change. It's the type of thinking itself that needs to be worked on. It's possible that you need them to adjust your medication, but it's also possible that some sort of talk therapy would also be useful. Would you consider telling your doctor that you need their help again?

[infrared_radiation]

For what it's worth I personally have not masturbated in several days.

[rambo]

but what about my fear ?

[malign]

Your fear about your aunt telling people what happened?

As I suggested, perhaps you could talk with your aunt about it. An apology rarely makes things worse.

It's very difficult for someone in a different part of the world to know what exactly you're afraid of, or whether your fear is justified. What would be the outcome if your fear came true?

[rambo]

i consider its a think better not to be spoken again , it should be left to get dilute with time . the outcome is the casue of fear ? m belonging to a very reputed family and me destroying it ??

[malign]

But is it diluting with time? If your fear is increasing, which I assume is why you asked for help, maybe your idea isn't working.

Well, what you imagine the outcome will be, is the cause of the fear. That's why I asked you what you think will happen.

You're afraid that your family's reputation will be destroyed. Wouldn't your aunt care about your family's reputation too? How certain are you that despite what people say about masturbation, that you're the only one doing it? People preach vigorously against things that are actually happening; they wouldn't bother to condemn masturbation if no one's doing it except you.

In the end, though, you don't know what the outcome will be, because it hasn't happened yet. You mentioned that you used to wash your hands compulsively. I assume that there was a bad outcome that you were trying to avoid by doing that, right? When you stopped, did the outcome you expected happen?

Telling a doctor in confidence really isn't likely to hurt your family at all, and it's very likely to get you the help you need so that you're not as afraid any more.

[rambo]

i think you are right . I have read about OCD a lot but it was more about washing hands but not about these kind of thoughts i am having ?