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Why am i so sad?

John Weber

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Hello, I'm new to this forum, it's really nice to meet you.

A google search brought me here as i didn't have anything or anyone else whom i could get some advice or mental support, so if it's ok i'll get to it.

I'll start by shortly introducing me and a bit of my life and them my problem. Sorry if it gets boring.

I'm a 19 year old on 2nd college year student, i'm a very introvert person, so i was bullied during my childhood, always picked last for teams, etc... At the age of 15~ i started playing world of warcraft (for those who don't know, it is/was a very popular online game at the time) and started talking with my classmates, some of them my old bullies, and for the first time in my life i had a bunch of friends (it also made me a bit addicted to computer games). when i was 16 i was diagnosed with attention deficit disorder, still my school marks were slightly above average, my marks went rocket when i started taking ADD medicines which allowed me to enter probably the best engineering college in my country, i was really happy.

On my first year of college it seemed i had lost all my purpose in life as if i was just meant to just live until that point. I barely have any friends on college, on my first semester i just passed with the minimum mark because i wouldn't study much. Things got worse on second semester and i even failed 2 subjects. This Summer, i spent with my family as always, i stayed at home a lot of time so i started to wonder about this. My life is (or was) almost perfect so why am i so sad? Is this a depression? Do i, In the end, just want to have some friends and be able to work/"fight" alongside them for a common cause? What moves me?

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It's interesting that you're social enough through a computer keyboard. To me, that's a hopeful sign ... You just have to learn to translate that into the real world. It's not as if you don't like people, after all; maybe you just haven't practised very much.

It's also interesting that you picked out another way in which an online game differs from real life: it's harder to define what the common goal is, in life. In a game, it's obvious that you're working together, against whom, and for what. In life, it almost seems like we're all working separately, or even competing against each other.

Can you define what you're sad about? Are you lonely? Is it connected to your past difficulties in school, or your different, current, ones?

You're at an age where a person is choosing who they want to be. You can expect that to be difficult. There are so many options, few of them easily defined as "wrong".

Do you have access to any counseling facilities, at your university? They're often free to students, and might give you the chance to work through your troubles with another person, but in a safer situation than the wide world.

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Thank you for your answer.

Well i'm sad mainly because of the lack of success on college that made me very ashamed so i started avoiding other students because i didn't want them to know how bad i was doing... i guess i feel lonely but still, my studying problems remain, maybe it was just a phase and i needed one year off? I'm pretty sure this is the degree i want to be in.

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I understand the impulse to pull away, believe me.

But you might be surprised: if you told people how you were doing, for instance, they might want to help.

When you had difficulty studying, last year, do you feel it was because of the ADD (which might mean your meds need adjusting), or was it mood-related (you didn't feel hopeful, or you felt like it wouldn't make any difference)? Both of those are treatable, by the way.

You sounded excited about your prospects, so I would tend to agree that you're interested in the subject matter. Having a rough year doesn't mean it's not something you can overcome.

I myself went through on the six-year plan ... I majored in Biology, took six years to take the coursework, dropped out, and finished six years later after one extra summer of courses, after a detour into computers. Don't worry too much if life doesn't take you in a straight line ...

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Can you bring up how you feel on your next visit to the doctor, and ask their advice?

Of course, it's a psychiatrist, so their solution would be medication. There's still the option to talk to counselors at school, if you would rather go the talk therapy route (and they're not mutually exclusive.)

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