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Why do people pretend


mle51
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How come people pretend to be your friend, Just in the past 9 months I got diagnosed With hypothyroidism,COPD,Left lung Nodule. Already have PTSD, Depression/Anxiety, Trust/Abandonment Issues. Also a Adult Survivor Of sexual abuse. I guess what I'm getting at is I have a few close friends I can count on one hand Are they say call themselves my friends Now I quit smoking Or at least trying to Doctors orders. But what I don't understand it seems like they don't want to listen to my problems Its always the other way around, Or they just coming down to see me When they need something. I don't want pity I just want a Friend who will listen. The only true friend I had moved away Cuz your lease was up. My apartment Complex. I'm wondering if I should just go find new friends.

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Welcome to the community, mle.

I'm sorry you are going through and have been through so much, both physically and emotionally. :( Are you talking with a professional about your struggles? Are you also receiving medical help from a physician?

Supportive friendships can be wonderful. If your friendships feel unbalanced, then this could be something to look at. Do you have positive feelings about yourself? I know for me, as I have felt better about myself, I have also found myself surrounded by friends who treat me with kindness and respect. It's very difficult to know why others behave as they do. I think it's good to keep the door open to new friendships. I hope you find a great friend who will listen and support you. I think we all need that in our lives. We are here too if it helps to express yourself.

Take care.

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I have the same type of friends in real life, it probably doesn't help that I am not very interesting though. :mellow:

But I am learning that not everyone is like that, I don't mind listening but it is like they don't even take a breath because they are afraid you will interrupt.

I am listening to you :)

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  • 3 weeks later...

In my opinion, mle51, I don't think they really are true friends. True friends are there for you and they love you and accept you for who you are. If you are having trouble, there are your backdown and they are there to help you. They won't judge you and they won't just use you to get something out of you. They appreciate your company, as well as your friendship. Those people you describe are no true friends and I think you should try and find new one's. Friends who will treat you better.

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  • 2 months later...

The friends you have may be your friends still, its a matter of comfort when it comes to hearing the issues we have and most friends are truly ill equpiied to offer any meaningful advise on any condition we suffer from in our lives. One has to also cionsider that there may be probl;ems in their lives they don't speak about, I was a very private person and many thought I was emotionally detached but the issue for many years was the pain and grief I was feeling impaired me from being capable of rendering any worthy advise, and in fact when i did show and meant compassion it was often mis perceived. When needing supoport don't throw the baby out with the bath water, some of your friends probably have no idea how to speak intelligently about what you are going through. My suggestion would be to seek a professional counselor trained in the field of sickness and depression.

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