parents at wits end

[steenmom]

Our son is 29 years old. He has been diagnosed by a social worker as being bipolar. He has been taking medication, but is still having problems. We live in an area that has little mental health solutions. He can't seem to function without help. He can't seem to remember from one day to the next how to do certain things such as emptying the dishwasher. He can't remember where things go. He is going to college online and two days a week, and seems to being doing well, but in every other area he is far behind. In so many ways he still seems to be a child. He's had two DUI's, and although he talks every day of changing his ways, every time he has any money he buys beer. (We won't buy him any!) We've thought of kicking him out, but we aren't sure he could make it on his own at all. He doesn't have many friends, no girlfriend in years. He just stays in his room playing games, or on the computer. We really want to help him, it's breaking our hearts, but we don't know what to do. He is very secretive about what is going on in his life. We usually find things out later. Usually it's just mother's intuition that says something is wrong. He steals from us occasionally, mainly by writing small checks on our checking account. He always says he won't do it again, but he always does. Mental health in our area is next to zero. I work with the state and although they are making some reforms, they realize there is a problem and they aren't sure what to do either (especially with the economy in the tubes). I really don't want to charge him with forgery, or stealing... I really want him to find help... but how????????

[finding my way]

Do you have Alcoholics Anonymous or Alanon in your area? They have a great deal of information on the many facets of addiction and how that impacts lives and relationships. They are also very good with providing support.