Dreading tomorrow-

[JMorgan]

Tomorrow I am meeting with a counselor (he's a psychologist) if I get there. I am on the verge of losing my job, have driven my husband away, and have my kids scared of me. I am out of control and haven't cared for several months now. The only thing I am holding on to and not by much is my two kids (2 and 4 years old). I don't know what I'm going to say, I'm scared, nervous and dreading it very badly. It's like tomorrow is dooms day. I am convinced it would be better if I weren't around. I'm afraid maybe if I go tomorrow that I will be convinced otherwise and my whole plan and current way of living is going to come to an end. This sounds so stupid. It's a good thing people who know me do not know what I am really thinking all the time.

[finding my way]

Are you concerned that someone (your counselor) will hear what is really going on in your head and that it will leak out and change everything once it gets out? Therapy is supposed to be a place of safety where you express your thoughts but it doesn't mean you act on them. It's important to unburden yourself of weighty matters and get some help dealing with them. I hope you were able to go.