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My anxiety.


lc4tide
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Hello,

This is my first time to this site, and after reading a few things on anxiety, I decided to post some things to this site.

I am not sure if anyone has any of the same symptoms that I experience with my anxiety...but I suppose I should give a background before delving straight in.

-I am an only child (that could have a lot to do with this...). I am also an only grandchild, on BOTH sides of my parents family. When I was 17, I was in a serious car accident. Afterwards, I started having panic attacks not knowing what they were at the time. My mom went with me to a psychiatrist, and I was diagnosed with PTSD, depression, and anxiety disorder. I was put onto Zoloft, and Clonazepam, I took the medication, and started feeling numb to the world, sleeping a lot, and not caring if anything happened to me.

-When I was around 18, I took myself off the medication, graduated high school, and started my life in college. Things were looking up, but I felt as if I wasn't really making my parents or my grandparents happy by majoring in what I was majoring in at the time (which was theatre arts).

-At 19, I met my husband and we got engaged shortly after. We married in March of 2007...I was 20, he 21. I started having feelings of dread and doom after I got married (when I should have been very happy!!). I took a semester off of school to ready myself for the wedding...and this was what made me feel as if I had let EVERYONE in my family down. I finally got back into school summer of 2007, but I started having panic attacks soon afterwards, which to this day are very debilitating, and sometimes take a day to recover from.

-When I am experiencing an attack, I start feeling very cold, and tremble and chatter my teeth. This can last for a very long time, my husband says it happens in my sleep at times. Sometimes, I get to the point of dry heaving, and gagging until I vomit (but it is usually just bile...no food). The teeth chattering is very annoying...to me, AND to my husband. I feel as though I COULD be experiencing some separation anxiety from my parents and grandparents...I am not sure, but I always worry about my parents and especially my grandparents. I am always worrying something is going to happen to them, and they will be gone forever from me, which is something I cannot imaging happening! :)

-These panic attacks make me feel as if I am going to faint. And fainting is a very big fear of mine!! I have never fainted, but it is something that I would not want to do!! I get very fearful doing things that used to make me happy, like shopping, eating out, and being with my friends. I am always afraid I will get sick after eating, so sometimes when eating out with family, I only eat a small amount, which makes me feel AWFUL for wasting money...

-I am now a Secondary Education major-Foreign Language arts Spanish. It is something I have always wanted to do...and I have no idea why I didn't do it in the first place!! But, if my anxiety doesn't get any better, I am not sure how I will deal with observations, or student teaching next year. My expectations of myself aren't very good, because at this time I feel like I should have graduated from college already, but it will take me another year and a half...to two years.

-A few months ago, I was put onto Lexapro, but I only take a half of the pill, not the whole, because I DONT want to be numb to the world again. I also have Clonazepam that I only take in EXTREME situations, but most of the time I just try to work things out.

Has anyone EVER experienced the teeth chattering/trembling?? I feel lost, without any help.

Thank you,

LC.

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Welcome LC. Yes, I went through an episode of trembling and teeth chattering when I was about your age and extremely upset over separating from my family. I had to go in another direction from them if I was ever going to "make it," and my body reacted in exactly that way. My mind was filled with all kinds of doubts and sensitivities to every interaction around me. It took me longer than others to get through college and to "make it" in the work world, but I did.

I just want to say that you have quite a bit of insight into your situation already. Is there a way you can cut yourself some slack? You might not believe you'll finish school and get your job, but I can tell you will. It's OK that it is taking you longer. It's OK that you are a sensitive person. There are benefits to being that way. Getting some counseling could help you sort things out better and unburden the mental load you are carrying.

Thanks for sharing with us.

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi Ic4tide,

Welcome to our community.

What occurs to me immediately upon reading your post is that you have been prescribed many medications since you were 18 or younger but have received no psychotherapy for anxiety.

During my many years as a psychotherapist (I am now retired) I treated many people with the types of anxiety and panic you describe. Medicine helps somewhat but the only real way to reduce anxiety is by learning behavioral techniques through cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).

In addition to CBT there are many things you need to learn and start doing for yourself. For example, meditation is excellent. Add to that, deep breathing and deep muscle relaxation. Learning a form of "self hypnosis" called "visualization" is also helpful. These are not substitutes for psychotherapy but adjuncts and you can start now.

On our site, mentalhelp.net, we have a self help section and you can find many of these methods along with descriptions of how to do them. Also, you can find even more by doing an Internet search of "meditation," etc. I would also recommend that you buy some of the excellent self help books in the book stores on reducing anxiety and stress.

This did not happen to you because you are an only child. We do not fully know why this happens except that it is extremely common and you are not alone, not at all.

Let us know how you are doing. Please.

Allan:)

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Thank you for your help.

I am now up at 2 am though. I awoke my heart racing, and having to use the restroom. I am drinking water right now, and it seems to be calming me down to be able to type how I am feeling out.

I also believe that Cognital Behavioral Therapy would help. I did receive some counseling a few years ago right when i was diagnosed with my anxiety issues, but I stopped going after about 6 or 7 months...I should have kept going.

Thanks for all the insight!!

-LC

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