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silentscreamsx
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hi, I'm new to this. I don't know how it works but I found this website off tumblr...I don't know what to do...I think I hit rock bottom

I suffer from anxiety disorders and depression along with self harm. I got in trouble a few weeks ago and my mom took my phone away and told me I can't hangout with anyone in a certain area ever again. The area my friends live in isn't the area I live in, so we go to different schools. But I don't have many friends in my school and she knows that's. She follows through with her punishments. I've barely talked to anybody and I can't go out of the house. I have separation anxiety and I overthink shit a lot. I just don't know what to do. Ive been having multiple panic attacks almost everyday and they're getting worse. All I want to do is drink, cut, and die. I don't even cry unless it has to do with waking up. Yes, I wake up in the morning crying because I have to go to school, and get out of bed. I've been waking up an hour later for school than normal. I just feel like I'm going insane and have no one to listen because I've vented about these things before but they weren't near as bad as now so all the people I talk to think I'm going to be okay and it's just normal for me

This isn't normal. I know what normal feels like but I'm too scared to explain that too them because if I say how I'm truly feeling, they might think it's bullshit attention stuff but it isn't. I don't know what to do about anything. I don't even know how to clearly explain this.

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Welcome to the community, silentscreamsx. I'm sorry you are in so much distress. :(

I can imagine it feels very difficult to be suddenly shut out from your friends. I would not do well with that either. When you say you can't go out of the house, is that due to your anxiety or is that part of the punishment? Maybe try taking some deep breaths if you feel panicked. It might help you to get some space from these feelings. Is there a counselor at school you might speak with or another trusted adult? Is your mom open to listening to you? You can express yourself here as much as you feel comfortable with. We also have a blog section, if that might be helpful. We are listening.

I hope today is calmer for you, silentscreamsx. Take care.

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